if i believe you ✓

→ FORTY-ONE

LUKE IS STUMBLING AROUND; he can't remember getting drunk, but here he is, tears streaming down his face and alcohol clouding his brain.

He hasn't felt this bad since 2017, when he had to live with Ashton so he wouldn't wake up in the night and swallow pills or stab himself repeatedly.

It's all his fault. He stupidly thought it could work out, but he's Luke Hemmings. He fucked everything up a long time ago, when his relationship with her didn't work out.

The person to his left in the harsh purple neon of the place has his lips on Luke's neck and his hands on the back of Luke's shoulders, and the whole time, Luke is staring at the door, completely zoned out.

He wants to see Cole. He wants to say hello to him and ask if they can make up, and then the whole bar will cheer and they'll buy a round for everyone there.

He doesn't want to see Cole. He's so selfish, and even though Luke never asked for this guy to be sat on top of him, he still doesn't want Cole to know about what's happening now (even though it'll be all over the internet tomorrow).

Some sort of feeling comes back into Luke's body, and he pushes the guy away from him. He looks shocked, before standing up and marching away as Luke stands up himself to clumsily walk away. He can't see straight, let alone walk in a straight line.

As he stumbles, someone wraps their arms around Luke's torso, and pulls him upright. Slowly but surely, he moves his head up to meet the eyes of Ashton, who stares at him in faint pity.

Luke accepts how much of a deal it is for Ashton to be in here. He always said how scared he was of becoming an alcoholic, and how he would never go into a bar alone, and yet here he is.

"Let's get you back to the room." Ash says softly, and Luke nods as a fresh bout of tears begin to stream down his face again. He manages to make his way out the place and down the road with the support of the other boy - fresh air seems to untangle the liquor mess of Luke's brain and he makes a few steps alone.

"I'm sorry, Ash. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Luke apologizes until his tongue is numb and they're sat in Ashton's hotel room. After a quick call to Nico to explain what's happening and Luke crying in the background, the both of them find themselves lying on the bed.

"Get some sleep, Luke. The concert's tomorrow, and then we don't have anything to focus on." Ashton is stroking Luke's hair gently as he speaks, and he starts to slowly fall asleep. The repetitive apologies are still trying to make themselves heard, but Luke can't force himself to let it happen.

The darkness seems to hold him slightly better than Cole can.