if i believe you ✓

→ THIRTY-FOUR

THE PLANE SEEMS QUIET WITHOUT Calum, Ashton and Michael there to make noise and generally annoy them - Luke had forgotten how it felt to not have people interrogating him about if he's alright. While he doesn't begrudge it, he still just wants some peace after the neon lights of the hospital and the commotion of the doctors trying their hardest to save him, simply just to make themselves look better.

They mean the best, of course, but he hates having to think about what he did and what happened. It'd be easier to sweep it under the carpet, alongside all his failed relationships and various other screw-ups. After all, does anyone really acknowledge the messy hiatus by now?

He talked this through thoroughly with Cole, and he knows that Luke's absolutely fine, but he still hates seeing him feel like he has to tread on eggshells around Luke. Nobody wants to live with the person they love like that.

Still, maybe this could work out alright for them. Japan has always been Luke's dream destination, and when Cole told him that he had plane tickets, it finally felt like things were definitely looking up for the two of them.

Or so he hopes. He's holding out for it to work out. It has to.

———

Of course, they can't do anything just for fun; they have exactly one single show to play in Osaka directly in the middle of the month they're spending in the country, and any other time, Ashton, Calum and eventually Michael have sworn to leave them alone and 'let them do romantic couple things' (according to Ashton).

Luke shuts his eyes and leans back in his seat, before staring out the tiny window next to him over the ocean. It's so tranquil, and as always, he can't help but think how none of this could have happened if he'd been a little more forceful. Thank God for weak, shaky Luke.

Snapping Luke out of it, Cole appears next to him, and Luke stretches his arms out in his direction as a faint attempt to hug him.

"Missed you in the few minutes you were gone. Now, more importantly, do you have my water?"

Cole laughs, before producing the requested bottle of water from behind his back and handing it to Luke as he sits down. "Here's your precious."

As he sits down and Luke inhales water like he hasn't drunk since the beginning of time, Cole's smile wavers and fades a little as he catches sight of Luke's arms, before he bites it back and returns to his former happiness. He doesn't want to dwell on the past, but it still constantly happens, and the scars are always going to be there, both metaphorically and physically.

Still, Luke doesn't seem to be the shadow that Cole can remember seeing now. It hurt so much to have to sleep next to such a faded mess of a person, but now he's doing a little better, at least.

Cole shuts off his brain and stares past his husband and out of the window, out over the ocean. It's so peaceful and calm, and Cole can only cross his fingers and hope it's representative of the next month.