The Smeet

The Goldfish

"Can I have a pet, daddy?"

"No."

"Whyyyyy?"

Red sighed as he sipped his morning coffee. "Ilk, we live on a ship travelling through space and barely land. It's not place for a dirty, smelly beast to run around." Besides, he hated animals.

"It doesn't have to be a big one! It can be a small one, like a bird!"

"Come on, Red, don't be like that!" Purple pouted.

"Did you forget the last time we had a beast in here?"

*FB*

Zim had the brilliant idea to send a tiger as a present to his leaders, but didn't take into account that the big cats were not like the tiny felines the hyoomans had as pets, something which the crew on the Massive had to learn the bad way.

"SOMEBODY KILL THAT ANIMAL!" Purple yelled in fright. He and Red had climbed onto a wall with their PAK legs.

"Curse you, Zim!" Red yelled, even lifting his arm with a clenched fist.

The tiger roared and lunged at a random crewmember. "AAAAHHHH!"

Purple threw up at the sight of the carnage.

"Who did he eat?" Red asked.

"A service drone, My Tallest!"

"Someone send his widow a doughnut!"

*FB*

"It wasn't that bad, at least we pretty cool sleeping robes." Purple pointed out, pointing at his orange striped pajama when he went to get some more coffee.

"Besides, companion beasts require too much responsibility," Red continued. "I don't think you're ready for one, Ilk."

"Not fair! I'm already four!"

Red made sure Purple wasn't around before whispering. "By the way, the next time you look for an accomplice you should ask Larb or Tenn. Purple is a bit too lacking when it comes to appealing."

"I heard that!" Purple called from the kitchen.

A few days later, though, Ilk's wish came true in a way.

In an attempt to earn the Tallest's favour, Zim sent her a tiny, gold-colored fish in a small, round fish bowl filled with a substitute of water that wouldn't burn her. The Tallest, of course, confiscated the fish until they made sure it wouldn't snap, explode, bite or turn into a gargantuan monster.

Afterwards, Ilk would spend hours staring at the puny fish, fascinated. It wasn't really that hard to keep it alive; all she had to do was change its water and feed it. It couldn't be taken out of the water or be petted, but she didn't mind.

The other Irkens, however, wondered what why such animals were kept as pets in the first place if they did nothing but eat and swim.

Eat. Swim. Swim. Eat. Evacuate. Eat.

To Ilk, however, the little fish was the 'greatest pet in the whole universe'.

"Well, at least it doesn't smell like Skoodge's socks." Purple muttered a some time later as he stared at the fish, named Finny.

"You know, it's the first time Zim actually sends an actually harmless animal." Red pointed out.

"Speaking of which, look at this!" Purple gently hit the glass of the fishbowl with a claw, but apparently it was enough to drive the fish nuts for a few seconds.