Love & Exorcisms | 18+ | COMPLETE |

- Chapter 56 -

I wished I could stop imagining that pistol aiming at me.

"You're the Storyville Killer, aren't you?" I whispered. "All those corpses in the papers, with missing hearts? That was you?"

"Six in the past year," he said, eyes closed. "Six. All in Storyville. Unsaveable. I did everything - everything I possibly could - perhaps it would have been different, if I'd had Alex with me, or Amma. But they were dangerous. Violent. I couldn't let them go." He opened his eyes, but they were glassy and distant. "I didn't want to tell you that, Samara. You have no idea...how ashamed I am of that. How disgusted I am, that I was so weak I couldn't save them."

I hated to see him in pain. It made tears slip from my eyes against my will, and my throat constrict. "It wasn't your fault-"

"But it was," he said. "I was there. I was supposed to help them. That's what I do. And I...I failed." He shook his head slowly. "I aimed that pistol at you, once. Because I knew the things inside you were so strong. Just like the others." His hands clenched on his trousers. "I'm horrified at the very thought...because I truly thought you were gone. I wouldn't have aimed otherwise. Yet you came back. And what if...what if those others could have too?"

"You can't think of it like that," I said quickly, although I hardly even knew how to comfort him. My words tumbled about in confusion and fear. "And it isn't your fault. It truly isn't. It's mine."

His eyes widened in alarm. "What?"

"Only in the past year," I said. "Six powerful demonic possessions, all in Storyville." I felt sick to my stomach. But I knew it to be true. I was the Gateway, after all. I was an open door for the Legion to pass through. "I let them in: the strong ones. And they possessed those women. If it wasn't for me -"

"Stop, Samara-"

"If it wasn't for me they wouldn't have had to die!" I choked, unable to withstand the force of the sobs that wanted to rack through my body. I'd had such hope, so much hope, that recovery was near and that I was safe. But... "I'm a danger to everyone near me! I infect them, expose them to these...these beasts!" I looked with disgust at my own hands, so small, so fragile, yet they had done terrible things. "If I'd never come here, they would all still be alive!"

I curled into myself. The pain, the ache, the guilt of that knowledge - how could I accept that? And the guilt that Damian now carried because of it, a secret so shameful it could cost him his life if the authorities found out, that plagued him so terribly - my fault.

Your fault, your fault, your fault, stupid girl.

I felt his arms around me, as he pressed beside me on the coach seat. He gathered me up upon his lap, and tucked me under his chin, close against his heart where I could hear its beating as I cried.

You don't deserve saving. You don't deserve kindness. You don't deserve love-

"Please stop," I gasped. "Please. Please. Please."

"Don't listen to them," Damian's voice was fierce. "Do not listen. They are telling you lies to drag you down further. Don't listen."

"But it's all true," I said.

He took my face in his hands and pulled me back, so I had to look up at him and meet those striking green eyes. "No. Whatever they tell you are lies, even when disguised as the truth. Listen to me. The demons did indeed come to this city with you. I won't tell you otherwise, for its very likely true. But you are a victim like the rest of the them. You could not have known nor stopped it if you did. You came here searching for safety." He kissed my forehead, and held me close. "You've found it, Samara. I assure you. Now that you're with me, together, we'll ensure no one else is lost."