Count to Three

Change

For my sister, whom I love dearly. She isn't on Wattpad, but I still want to dedicate this to her.

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"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

- Marilyn Monroe

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Chapter 10:

In a world full of hate, there are still lights shining through. Like a cloudy day, when you try to find a single spot of sunlight peeking through the darkness, it is possible. You may have to squint your eyes and look into the far distance, but you will always find it. It might only be a speck, a sliver, a dot - but it is there.

Some people don't look hard enough. They live their entire lives masked by a face of sadness, an outlook of pure pessimism. I don't pity these humans. At one unfortunate time, though, I was one. My life was a drag, nothing was ever good enough. I was never good enough.

One day, I picked up a pair of metaphorical binoculars and looked out upon the blurred horizon and I saw it - the beam of light in my perpetually dismal sky.

It was called Jaxon.

I never understood the feeling of elation, the feeling of joy after heartbreak, until I met him. How cliche, right? I know, I've gone soft. That's what Eli told me, at least. He says to me that I am no longer a baby, but I'm still not allowed to date him. I told him it wasn't an issue, he didn't feel the same. It was okay though.

Jaxon told me that he found Evelyn with another boy, that's why they broke up. It took me off guard; at one point, I actually thought I could've been the reason. Pathetic.

Yesterday, I talked to dad. Not the drunk one, the nice one. The one who never saw a cloudy day, always the sun. That was who I talked to. I'm quite sure I've gone insane, but he spoke back to me. I said:

"I miss you, dad. Sorry things turned out so sucky for you."

He replied:

"Okay."

I realized that I was only speaking to him in my mind. The reason he responded was because I was in a movie theater watching Augustus and Hazel's exchange of repetitive one word answers. I thought it was him though, I really, really thought it was.

Maybe that was what led me to race out of the movie theater, tears of joy streaming down my face, Jaxon hot on my tail.

"Camilla? Camilla, what's wrong? What's the problem?" He asked.

"It's dad, he replied to me! He said 'Okay.' He still loves me."

The look on his face assured my that I had gone crazy, but I didn't mind then. I do now.

I shut my journal and placed it on the bedside table. The time on the clock read 7:48pm, and I was darn exhausted. I didn't know why, for I didn't do much today. I met up with Jaxon for a stroll through the park and a meal at the Chinese food restaurant, but nothing extremely energy-consuming.

Unless eating burns calories, which I'm almost positive it does.

I didn't do my homework, but what else was new. Homework was almost never done at home - it was done in the hallways before classes or in the period before it was due, but never at home. It was dumb of the teachers to assume that of us.

My phone buzzed and I picked it up, checking my new message.

Jaxon: Hey Camilla, did you get the answer to number six for the geometry work?

I smiled; it was a small inside joke we had to text questions like this. We both hated the idea of bringing schoolwork home, so we would send texts like this because the answer was always 'no'.

Camilla: What do you think?

Jaxon: ....I'll take that as a no

Camilla: Correct!

Jaxon: I'm so smart, I practically just read your mind

Camilla: Or you just know me so well that you know everything I'm going to say or think. Guess what I'm thinking right now?

Jaxon: Hmm, something along the lines of "Holy crap Jaxon is so hot and I'm just so frickin in love with him!"

Camilla: Not even close. I was thinking about how much of a dumbass you are, actually.

Jaxon: Nah, you were probably thinking about how much you want noodles right now. Am I right or am I right?

I laughed and rolled my eyes. This kid knew me too well.

Camilla: You can't just bring up the subject of noodles and not bring me any! This is crazy

Jaxon: Think again

I heard a knock on my hotel room door and tossed my phone on the bed. "Coming."

I opened the door and laughed. "Oh God, Jaxon, you're crazy!"

"Crazy for you," he winked, shoving the Tupperware container of noodles into my hands. It was warm, which meant he just made it.

"What are you doing here?" He walked past me and jumped onto my bed, turning on the TV.

I rolled my eyes and shut the door. I pulled out a couple water bottles from the mini fridge and joined him on the bed.

"Scoot over, you're on my side. And don't get under the covers, that's just weird." I tossed him the bottle and he caught it with ease.

He chuckled but complied, scooting over so I could have some room. He pulled out a few forks from the plastic wrapping and tossed me one.

"Thank you, Sir. For real, how did you know I wanted noodles?"

He shoved me lightly and laughed. "Camilla, you tell me everyday how much you crave noodles. Seriously, you never stop whining. So I decided to shut you up by doing a good deed."

I punched him lightly and giggled. "Well, thank you. It's very impressive."

I ripped off the lid of the container and dug in, shoving forkfuls of pasta into my mouth.

"Woah, slow down! When was the last time you ate?"

I thought about it, and I drew a blank. It wasn't healthy, I knew, but it wasn't like I was intentionally starving myself - I just wasn't hungry.

"Camilla? Be honest. When did you eat last?"

"Lunch yesterday?" I shrugged. It was a guess, since I couldn't remember.

"Are you insane?!" He jumped out of the bed and stared at me, distraught.

"Calm down, dude. It's fine, I'm eating right now. See?" I lifted the fork and slid the food in my mouth.

"Camilla, you need to take care of yourself. You're a beautiful girl, who's worst enemy happens to be herself. You should change that."

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My apologies for the extremely extremely short chap, but I just finished 200 summer reading questions and I'm going back to school on Monday so yeah. I'm not really sure when I'll get around to posting when school resumes, but I guess we'll see.

Thanks for reading, and it'd mean the world to me if you voted:)

Ps this isnt edited so oops