Sissy Boy (ManxBoyxBoy) ⎰⛑⎰

34. нσѕριтαℓιzαтισи

~I never want you to hurt, or feel any kind of pain. I want to protect you from everything and everyone. I just wish there was some way that I could keep you from being in a lot of pain. I wish there was something I could do to make everything go away.~

B L A K E

I was up bright and early getting everything ready for Ashton's surgery this morning. I hadn't really slept any last night because I'd been worried all night about Ashton. His surgery was at ten this morning and there was a lot of things that weren't exactly settled with me. I couldn't help but worry and I was obsessively worrying over everything.

I knew that there was a lot of emotions running through Ashton last night and that meant that there was a lot of emotions that were going to run through him when I finally wake him up. I had eaten earlier so that he wouldn't have to watch me eat and I'm waiting until it's just about time to leave to wake him up. I didn't mind getting everything together for him so that he would get a little extra sleep.

I'd gotten him to bed by midnight last night. He'd taken his medication at eleven and he'd been restless, barely able to relax. He had started crying and cried himself to sleep last night. It didn't even matter that I told him that it was going to be okay. I'd been relieved when he'd finally fallen asleep because it hurt me to see him hurting. I couldn't keep from worrying that he was going to be an emotional wreck all day and that he was going to stress himself out over everything that had already happened. I sighed deeply.

His father is lucky that I don't kill him. Ashton didn't deserve this. He had been so hurt and scared by his father that he jumped every time someone knocked on the door. He couldn't really be outside much anymore because he was afraid he would see his dad and he would confront him. Ashton had calmed down some but it was still really hard on him.

His mother hadn't helped either, because she had just let what happened happen without any repercussions to the bastard. I'd barely been able to hold myself back when he'd knocked on my door wanting Ashton. I couldn't imagine watching someone beat my child, especially my husband. I would never let anything happen to my child. Doesn't she have any sense of maternal instinct? Any at all?

I shook my head and looked at the clock. We have to be at the hospital at seven. It was about to be six fifteen now so I needed to wake up Ashton. I stood up and walked to the bedroom, crawling into the bed beside him and I wrapped my arms around him. I kissed his head and watched as he cuddled up to my side and rested his head on my chest. I couldn't help but smile when he did that and it was adorable.

"Princess," I murmured softly into his ear and he didn't even move. I sighed and kissed his cheek. "Baby, it's time to wake up." I said, and shook him lightly. He stirred a bit and shook his head.

"Wake up, princess." I murmured softly, trailing small kisses down his cheek and neck, being gentle to keep from hurting Ashton. I hadn't been excited for this morning to come. In fact, I hadn't even slept yet. I had just been awake all night worrying. Not that I'd let Ashton see that. He needs me to be strong and fearless right now.

I knew that there was a lot of things that could go wrong and I was mentally preparing myself for anything that could go wrong. Or, him freaking out and refusing the surgery at the last minute. I knew that this surgery could ultimately save his life, but what if he was too scared to realize that? I couldn't help but be nervous about everything.

"I don't wanna." He whined and tried to roll away from me. I shook my head and kissed his neck again.

"Come on, baby." I said and he growled quietly and shook his head again. "I know you don't want to but it's needful. Wake up, sweets. Please?" I asked sweetly, pressing a sweet kiss into his neck. He groaned tiredly.