Sissy Boy (ManxBoyxBoy) ⎰⛑⎰

66. qυєѕтισи

~A question asked is a question answered, but sometimes the answers can only lead to more questions.~

A S H T O N 

I sat by the pool under an umbrella, my laptop on the table, and my vape pen discreetly in my sleeve so it wasn't out for the world to see. I was watching a blackboard collaborative meeting where my super boring math teacher who talks like an automated sales call recording was trying to explain properly how to do linear equations or something. To be honest, I was not focused at all. 

I couldn't stop thinking about what my mom had said about John. Had everyone in the family known and just not told me? Did my dad... or well... I don't know what to call him anymore. I'm so confused and I can't seem to just stop thinking about it. I wanted to so bad, because it was killing me. How had my mom ended up pregnant by my dads brother? That obviously wasn't intentional, so does that mean I'm a mistake? My mom had always said that she planned me, so it was really confusing. 

Did she intentionally sleep with John, and get pregnant by him? If so, why? What about that would've benefitted her? What was the point? My mom and dad never had another child, so maybe my dad can't have children, and if that's the case then... he had to know that I wasn't his... maybe he was on board with it? 

I thought back to when I was younger and people would always ask who in the family I looked like because I didn't look like my dad. It was more than just being thinner, younger and more feminine. My dad had brown hair and brown eyes. His brother was blonde with green eyes. Things were beginning to make more sense about my childhood, and always feeling weird because I didn't look like my parents at all. People had sometimes thought they'd adopted me because I looked so different. 

Though some things made more sense, like how I'd never felt a connection with my dad but I'd gotten really close to John... things felt more confusing than ever. My mind was coming up with all these different scenarios that seemed to make sense but really none of them fully explained anything. I wanted to know why no one ever told me all of this until now, or why my mother never tried to get away from my dad. I want to know how my mom hid the abuse from me for so long. I wanted to understand things, but I really didn't. 

I sighed deeply and slammed my computer shut, groaning in frustration and picking up my phone. I went to my contact book and scrolled down to the 'J's and found John in the list. I took a deep breath and licked on the call button, and put the phone up to my ear. I listened as the phone rang, holding my breath. 

I couldn't determine if I wanted him to answer or not, because I didn't know if I even wanted to know the answer to the question I'm about to ask. Four rings later, I heard it. "Hello?" He asked, and I sucked in a deep breath and hesitated. Should I... just ask? "Hello?" He asked again, and I started tapping my foot anxiously. 

"Hey Uncle John," I said, and I heard a rustling noise, and then silence for a second. 

"Ashton?" He asked, and I sucked in a breath. 

"The one and only," I said, and blinked slowly. 

"What's up?" He asked, but I had the feeling that he knew what was up by the tone in his voice. 

"Mom told me something and... I need to know because things just really aren't adding up." I said, and he sighed deeply. 

"Listen, Ash... your dad is your dad, he's the one who raised you," John said. 

"He's also the one who beat me up and caused me to need surgery," I said. "And the one who broke into my house while I was home alone." 

"He did that?" John asked and I sighed.