chapter 30

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Luna's

I will never talk to that Volden ever again. Who does he think he is, he thinks he can just kiss me without my permission.

Last night

"Sir. Volden thank you for this evening but I am sorry to tell you this but I would like for our relationship to stay as friends," I said he looked hurt. "Why do you feel that?" He asked upset. "Well, I just don't feel a connection between you and I ." "Then why did you agree to be with me?" He says raising his voice. "I needed to give you a fair chance. I could not just turn you down without a valid reason so I agreed to give you a chance, however, I have no feelings for you and I don't think that will be able to be changed." I said trying to calm him down. "Your lying you must be. Who can say no to me? I'll forgive you this time but don't do things like this again." He says grabbing my arm harshly and pulling me to him. "No, I am telling you the truth now let me go," I said pushing him away with my other arm. "I do not like be touched that way," I said. "You need to stop playing games with me Luna." He says. "I am not playing games, good night Sir.Volden." I said before I tried to walk away. He ran up behind me and pulled me by my arm. When I turned around he kissed me. I was surprised and angry he did such a thing. I pushed him but he grabbed the back of my neck to keep me from moving. I hated this, it felt horrible and wrong so there was only one thing I could do. I kneed him in his private area and it made him let go. "You are such a dog," I shouted before I slapped him across the face. "Never and I mean never appear around me again. I don't want to see you, hear you or hear from you ever again." I said before I walked away leaving him there.

The memory is still in my mind and I hate it so much. My thoughts were interrupted when the sound of a carriage got my attention outside. I got up and headed to the door, I was home alone waiting for Leon to return. "When I got outside, I saw the Emperor helping Leon from the carriage. " Mother" Leon ran and hugged me tightly. "Leon, I missed you," I said. "Mother, I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday. I feel bad." He says still hugging me. What in the world, why is he apologizing suddenly?" That's alright Leon, I know you were upset but you don't have to worry about Volden anymore. The reason I needed to see him last night was to tell him that." I explained and Leon looked very relieved. "How was staying in the palace?" I asked with a smile but he didn't look as happy as I thought he would. "It was really cool but during the night I had a nightmare." He says sadly. "Nightmare? About what?" I asked but I didn't want him to stand the whole time so I led him into the house. " Mother, what about father?" He asked, I looked behind me and saw the Emperor just standing by the carriage. I took a deep breath and remembered I'm doing this for Leon. "Your majesty, would you like to come in." I offered him and he looked very surprised by my offer. "Yes I would, thank you, Luna." He says following behind us. "I was scared of my nightmare so I couldn't sleep anymore." Leon says sitting down. "Why didn't you tell your father you had a nightmare like you tell me?" I asked stroking his hair softly. "I would have but I didn't know where he was. That place was huge and I was too hard to leave my room because I thought I would get lost." He says and I wanted to laugh at the fear but he wasn't wrong to think that. "Well, if you didn't sleep well. You should get some rest, why don't you go lay down for a while." I suggested. "Okay." He says I smiled and kissed his head before he got up and headed to his room. With Leon gone the Emperor and I are alone together. He sat across from me silently avoiding eye contact. Even after all these years, I can still read him and I know there is something he wants to say. "Say it." I said coldly. "What?" He asked surprised by my sudden words. "I know you want to tell me something, just tell me." I said. "Some things don't change do they, Luna?" He says and he could see in my gaze I didn't care for what he just said. I understood what he meant but I didn't care. "Well, I know you will not agree but I still want to try and ask you, " he says but once again he didn't say what he truly wanted to. "Can you please just say what you want to say." I asked. "You know Luna I am surprised you are even willing to talk to me. Ever since I found you it feels like I have not heard your voice for more than a minute, " he says still stalling. "If you must know, the only reason why I am interacting with you is for Leon. If he didn't want anything to do with you, I would not be talking to you. Now tell me what you want to tell me, I am growing very impatient." I said. "Okay, Luna I want you, Leon, Lucas, and Liluo to come back home to Won with me." He says "your majesty I am glad you want to be with my son but there is no place for me and my family in your Empire." I said but he shook his head. "Luna I am tired of this, I know you hate me for what I did. However, if you won't give me a chance to make it up to you how will I do that?" He asked and I chuckled. "It seems you do not understand me. The reason I don't give a chance to prove yourself to me is that I don't want you to. You can beg me, shower me with your gifts and money, do all these things but it will not change the fact that I do not want someone like you back." "Luna I love you, even after all this time. " he says. "Your majesty, would you like to know what was going through my head the night I left?" I asked but he stayed silent and I took that as a sign to continue. "After I told you I wanted space, I went to my room heartbroken and full of regret of what I had done. I didn't want to end things with you but I was so tired of being neglected and accused that my feelings took over my action and I did what I did. I was going to rest and calm down and talk to you as soon as I was fully myself again. I was going to apologize and beg you to forgive me and my rash choices. I wanted you back more than I wanted my own life at that moment because back then you meant everything to me. I couldn't tell you this back then because I was still a girl who could not understand her own feelings. But when I was summoned to Jane's room and I heard what you said to her, what you said I was to you. I realized that no one in this world is worth one's loving more than one's self. I made that realization and left your Empire to start a new life where everything is built up from scratch. When I found out about Leon, I swore he is the only man in this world I will give my life for." I finished speaking. "Luna, please let me show you that my love has not changed nor will it ever. Even when we are old and gray on our deathbeds I will only have you in my heart. What can I do to show you that, I will do anything?" He says but I kept an unchanged face a looked passed his eyes. Even if there was something he could do, I don't even know what it would take to trust him again. From the corner of my eye, I saw him get up and walk over to my side. Him being so close made me nervous about what he intended to do. We stopped but I didn't look at him until his hight flew down and a thud sounded. My head snapped to see what he was doing and now he was below me on his knees.

Youngbae

There was really nothing else I could do, my words are not enough. As I fell to my knees before the woman I love spoke again. "There is one thing I regret more than the fact that I hurt you. That is the fact that because of my stupidity I lost you and our child. I lost my chance to live happily with both of you in my life. I missed so much of my child's life and I do not blame you for what you did. You had the right to do what you believed protected you and your heart. And the past 8 years, everything you have done was to protect your family. I will not force you to forgive me for what I have done because I know I do not deserve it. But can you at least give me a chance to truly be Leon's father? I know you know me Luna, and you know nothing is more important to me than my family. For my family, I will easily put my life on the line to protect them. Even if this means I have to constantly come back and forth between Won and Oden, I will do it to be with my son and you. I love both of you more than anything in this world." I said this whole time she had been looking at me but it was hard to read her face until she spoke. "You are right, I do know how you feel about your family. I am happy if Leon is happy, so if that means you being part of his life so be it." She says looking forward. "However, just because you are part of his life doesn't mean you are part of mine, I don't need you to protect me. I can protect myself and my family just fine like I have been doing all these years. However, I will compromise with you for the sake of our child because I believe you truly love him." She says getting up and turning her back to me so she can walk away. "You too," I said making her turn around slightly but silently. "I truly love you too Luna," I said getting up, I tried to walk up to her but she placed her hand out stopping me. "You can say it a million times but I still refuse to believe." She says letting her arm fall. "I know you feel the same, you are just fighting it at this point.' "I am not fighting anything, had I been it would be harder for me to deal with you but as you can see it's not. How about this, I will hear what you have to say. If you say you love me then I will hear you, however, the returning of the feeling is very unlikely. Let this teach you that sadly in some cases no matter how hard we try, Sometimes love is not enough." She says before she walked away. I left her house sad but not done, I know she will consider my wish so all I can do is hope.

Luna

After the Emperor left, I went to Leon's room to see if he was sleeping and he was. I was about to leave but he woke up. "Mother. Is father gone?" he asked sitting up and rubbing his eye. "Yes, he just left honey go back to sleep I didn't mean to wake you," I said but he didn't. "I was not fully asleep yet, besides I have to tell you what the palace was like." He says suddenly becoming excited. "It was huge, there was a lot of fancy things that I got to see that we didn't see the first time. The food was amazing too, I was over the moon. However, when father told me he has a palace like that one in Won I wanted to go see. I asked if I could and he said I could whenever I wanted but I have to get your permission to go." Leon says excited about the idea of going to his father's palace. Mother, why don't you ever want to go back to Won? Father makes it sound like such a wonderful place. So do you, auntie and uncle, so why did you leave?" He asked not understanding my thoughts back then. "I will be 100% honest with you Leon. I left because I didn't want your father to find me ever." I said but Leon interrupted me. "But mother he loves you so much, whatever he did he regrets it more than anything. He wants to be with us, both of us mother." He says I can feel the not understanding sound in his sad voice and it hurt my heart truly. "What you say if it is true or not doesn't change the fact that I left years ago. And when I found out I was going to have you, well, I just didn't see a true reason to turn back after I left. I wanted nothing to do with your father so I kept you from him and I was wrong for that. I admit that I loved my life in Won but at the time when I left I was doing what I thought was right for myself." I explained, thinking of what was going. I am explaining my problems with my 7-year-old son. What has the world come to? "Mother, I want to go to Won. I want to be with dad, and live in a palace, and have a brother to play with. I want to speak Wonn more often, I want Wonn friends, I want to see my other family. Please, mother, I beg of you." Leon says with his hands clasped together. "Leon, let me think about it for a while okay. If I make any rash decisions this could end badly." I said stroking his head. This was not something I just plan to forget once I leave the room. Leon is right, I took so much from him because of my selfishness. This is my chance to give it back, but at what cost am I willing to pay?



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