Falling Sky

Chapter 21 part 2

   Authors note: I won't write a STORY about this. But haha get it? Yeah I had to warm y'all up to what I'm about to say next. If you are sensitive to the topic of suicide or attempt of suicide and you're only here for the romance. Then you should not read this chapter. And if you are dealing with things like depression you could talk to me. Or you could seek actual help from a professional. Call the suicide hotline. Get HELP. It's okay to ask for you it.

Skylar's POV

I wanted to fucking go. I needed to leave but of course I couldn't and of course I had to stop crying or I was going to ruin my make up. I had went to Sophia and grabbed her makeup bag. She'd stared at me as I grabbed it but she knew by the way I wouldn't make eye contact with her that I did not want to talk about it. So right now I stood in front of a single mirror. I was in a single bathroom with the door locked. I stare the tear streaks on my face.

I scoffed to myself. I looked disgusting. Quickly took some makeup wipes and took off the foundation and runny mascara. To be honest I didn't want to put any back on. I just wanted to go home and ball up. I wanted to lay in a comfortable position and cry. Tears still fell as I tried to convince myself that I didn't care. That my heart wasn't broken. I wanted nothing more than to go back and punch him instead. I should've slapped him too.

What makes me angrier was that when he touched my skin still reacted the same. It fucking tingled. My body still aches for him along with my heart. A lump got caught in my throat. I tried to swallow it down. But all I did was choke out a sob. I put the back my wrist to my lips. Trying to conceal the noise coming out. But I already knew what kind of cry was about to come. The loud ugly, voice cracking, choked sob kind. The kind where at first you hear the sobs but your crying so hard that the sound leaves.

This made me so sad. All of it. I thought that he was different. That's what I get for actually thinking I could be happy. I was trying to pull my shit together but I couldn't. Eventually I put all of her things back into her bag. I couldn't keep going tonight. I couldn't stop the lumps from forming in my throat so how the hell was I going to sing?

Part of me wanted to go and attack him. Another part of me wanted to just attack her again. But most of me wanted to just be done with the emotions. He had a way out and he could've found it without cheating on me. It was simple. He kissed me with his mouth. His mouth has been on skin that I have never showed anyone. I let him see parts of me that I don't talk about. I was letting him in. Now I feel like the worlds biggest idiot.

I spotted Sophia in the hallway. "I want to go home." I said. I was going to wait for her to try and convince me to stay because I didn't care to. Not with the way I was feeling. I was feeling too much. I don't think I can handle this. But then I saw him talking to her by the girls bathroom. I scoffed and got madder than I ever have before.

My eyes were probably red and puffy. My eyelashes were still damp from the tears I hadn't released. Holding in my emotions have shown to not be a good idea but I had nothing to say. I'm dealing with my own demons and no one can save me from them. They were restless and relentless. They tormented me all the time.

They made dark jokes about how I was dumb. It's clear that I'm a moron right? That something is mentally wrong with me because I believed a guy like him could every like a girl like me.

"Skylar what happened?" She asked me. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" She asked I nodded my head.

"I can I perform one song and then leave?" I asked. I asked I sniffled. I wish I could stop crying. Or maybe I wish that I could stop holding in the tears. I mean this was my best friend. Why can't I just cry and let her help me feel better? I didn't know why. But I wasn't going to keep asking myself questions that made me feel like I was drowning.