An Inconvenient Child

You are not alone

Fast forward to December the 1st 2016. It's a quiet day in the office and I get a message on facebook from my friend over in the USA saying that a woman claiming to be my sister has contacted her asking about me. Now my instant thought on all this was that this was a scammer and so I decided to play along as I was determined to catch this person out. So I got her details and sent the message. It took no time for her to get back to me and sure enough she started with the questions. But what she asked made little sense as it was things that anyone who knew me could answer. Things like:

when was I born?

where did I grow up?

am I adopted?

I answered them all politely but something in my mind was ringing an alarm bell. Something about this seemed like it wasn't a scam but something else. Then the woman let out with "Oh my god I think I'm your sister!" - You can imagine the shock and surprise at this i'm sure. But also somehow it really didn't seem that odd. She gave me her number and I called.

The voice on the phone was completely alien to me. Being Scottish myself you can imagine my surprise when I was greeted with an English accent! She confirmed my name, that is to say my real name when I was born. "James Barry Clark" As she uttered the words I had a flashback like you see on television shows of my adopted mother telling me this name. I could hear her start by saying "I know it's all a shock, and I'll understand if you don't...." I could hear the fear in her voice. I could hear a panic. Something inside me kicked in and would not let her finish. "No! No! No, of course I want to get to know you! Oh my god i have a sister?..." I replied. I don't know what it was, I don't know why I did it, after all she was a stranger to me. But something inside would not let me refuse her. After this she sent copies of my birth certificate to me and the rest actually is a blur. As the days rolled on we talked and talked but somehow she was so familiar to me. This stranger, this person from nowhere. I knew her but I could not say how or why. The first day we chatted on Facebook every time we'd post on each others wall and tag each other a person would instantly like it. Same person every time! I asked who the hell that was? - Tracy Replied that's our mother. At first I thought she meant it was her adopted parents. No! That's our mother little brother! To say I was not ready for this was an understatement. So many emotions to process, so many years of resentment and hate, fear and sorrow. I told her I could not begin to talk to her and she understood. I told her it would take time and my sister understood as only she ever could.

From the 1st of december we have made a point to talk every day if only in passing. We shed tears and laughter as we got to know this other half of ourselves and the more I looked the more I saw myself looking back at me, there were times that I would want to reminisce about our childhood only to realise that we never shared one. We were just so natural together.