(JIKOOK) Texting Story Snippets

Conversation

The smaller sighs. "I think you're being selfish."

Of anything Jimin could call him, selfish catches him off guard. Jungkook's eyes grow wide, but he's not looking at Jimin anymore. He's been trying so hard for himself, but the intention was always to better their lives with each other. Everything he is now is built to defend what they are together and as blinding as his anger becomes at the defiance of his efforts to maintain it all, he simply nods. "Fine. Selfish. Okay."

"I don't mean-" The words slip quickly off of Jimin's tongue. He shouldn't have said that, that much he knows. But, somehow he stills wants to be heard. "You could just think of the situation from his perspective and maybe you would agree with me." Jimin waits for Jungkook to respond, but the younger is silent. It begins eating away at his conscious, the quiet of the room, the mystery of what the other might be thinking. "I'm sorry for calling you selfish." Jimin apologizes, breaking a little. "I just feel differently than you do. I feel this weight on my shoulders that won't go away. I just want to feel free from it. Please, stop ignoring me." Jungkook turns away from him, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and hunching over his knees, leaving Jimin to wonder for a while as the older pouts. Why is it anger that manifests in his gut, simmering his blood at the absence of conversation? Jimin starts to feel guilty for feeling angry, especially when it's towards Jungkook. He reaches for him, only to be brushed off. It's a feeling he isn't used to. He tries again, feeling a little desperate after a couple of failed attempts. "Baby, please. A-are you crying? Ah, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, please don't cry." Jungkook is the strength he needs in his darkest hours, but right now he's feeling like Jungkook's weakness. It rips his heart apart.

"I hate it. I hate him." Jungkook grabs Jimin's hand snaked around his middle. He feels the boy climb against his back as he speaks away from him. "I hate speaking of him, thinking of him, hearing his name. I feel disgusted by him, enraged by him and tormented by the things that he did and the words that he said and the way that he said them." He hates crying because of that man, because of how much it still effects him. "I am selfish, Jimin. I hate it all, so I push it away from us, but maybe you're right and you need to think of it to overcome what's bothering you inside." Jungkook turns around, pulling Jimin gently towards him until the smaller is halfway in his lap, their faces inches apart. "But, we are not the same. I need to lock it away, far far away. You need to feel it to process it all. I get that." A moment of silence joins them again, easing them this time around, giving them a second to breath together. "But, please, tell me why you think that he deserves to see you processing the pain he caused you in front of him?"

"I-" Jimin can feel Jungkook's warm breath on his lips. He doesn't know what to say, he just wants to hold the man.

"If you can still feel weight on your heart when you think of him, there is still grief he will find in you immediately. You won't be helping the part of him that needs to be helped. You'll only be feeding the bad part."

Jimin's breath hitches, eyes becoming watery. He places his hand around the side of Jungkook's neck, feeling sad and wanting to touch him, feeling sorry. "I feel like you're just saying this now to convince me not to go."

Jungkook is truthfully thinking of reasons to convince Jimin out of his stubborn ideas, but there is also truth behind his every word. He ignores what Jimin said, pushing forward, feeling hopeful. "Imagine sitting across a table from him, right now." He whispers. It feels like hell to imagine sitting in the same building as the man that caused them all of this internal and external conflict. "What would you say first?"

Jimin bites his bottom lip, bumping his nose against Jungkook's. He's afraid that the other won't think that he's taking him seriously now. So he answers him, voice quivering. "Hi."

"Hi." Jungkook replies, tone serious and matter of fact. He doesn't pull away from Jimin's tender advances, but he doesn't back down from his position.

"How are you?" The smaller continues, pulling away slightly to rake his fingers through the tallers hair, gentle fingers making their way around to Jungkook's chin. He watches the small smile lift the man's lips, so sad that it makes his heart crack. Jimin's lips are shaking so he pulls them in tight.

Jungkook laughs lowly, the sound so unnatural he regrets it. "Great, and you?"

Just like that, without notable warning, Jimin's tears break free, cascading down his cheeks as whimpers fill his dry throat. "I fucking hate you." His anger slices through the dampened aura surrounding them still, washing it away with his band-aid sealed emotions. He realizes he's been keeping his pain as much as Jungkook has, and maybe seeing him while he's still processing his pain isn't what their future together needs. Maybe Jungkook's not selfish, or keeping his anger locked away to avoid hurt feelings.

"Jimin, love." Jungkook carries the smaller fully into his arms, settling himself around the other now completely in his lap. He rests his chin atop Jimin's head and chokes back his own emotions to let Jimin feel his comfortably. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you so much." He kisses Jimin's hair, lets the boy cry into his neck while he strokes his back slowly in circles. This wasn't what he intended. He wasn't searching for a victory, he only wanted Jimin to understand. Now, he feels remorse.

"I think I need this." Jimin mumbles, voice nearly washed out by the skin of Jungkook's neck. "To cry." He clarifies. "With you."

Jungkook closes his eyes at those words, pressing his cheek against Jimin's forehead and sighing softly. His hands stop moving, his arms winding around the boy securely as he whispers to him with all of the care he can muster at once. "So cry, Mochi. I have you."

-///-

A/N: I know, I'm such an angsty person jdhdhsh

It took ages to write this, but yay it's here. I had to deal with a lot of internal conflict.. So I'm sorry if it comes off as scatterbrained. I did my best.

I love you so so much and I'm sorry for the long wait. Oof. Have the best day, alright? ❤️💕