Moonwatcher; Soonhoon

03

Nothing, nothing - that's all it is. That's all he can afford.

—

"That girl from study hall asked me out today."

It's so unexpected, so bam, right here, right now, holy-fuck-where-did-this-come-from, that Soonyoung can't help freezing up for a moment, literally right as he's about to swallow his sip of tea. It half-slides, half-sticks to his throat, and he chokes, coughing violently. Jihoon doesn't so much as bat an eye.

"I mean, I said no. But yeah. That happened. Figured I should tell you."

Once he's managed to calm down, swallowing hard, Soonyoung asks, "Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I mean, you were literally on the cusp of death just now, so."

"Okay, well - thanks for helping me, by the way. What if I was actually dying? You sat there and stared, Jihoon, sat and stared." Jihoon cracks a smile, lifting his mug to his lips before focusing back on his notebook. Soonyoung isn't finished, though.

"Why'd you say no?"

He knows what girl Jihoon's talking about - the latter had brought it up a few weeks ago, how he thought she might like him. Initially, he'd mistaken it for plain friendliness, but Chan gave him the idea that she was flirting. "Then again," he'd said, "that's coming from Chan, so it could very well be complete bullshit."

But after some investigating of his own - ahem, waiting at the doors and peeking in to see her sitting right beside Jihoon, all smiles and twirling hair - Soonyoung deduced that she was, most probably, flirting. And why not? Everyone likes Jihoon, some definitely more than others (although none more than Soonyoung, he's sure), and it's something Soonyoung has come to accept.

Only, no one had ever really acted on it, except for that one time in sixth grade when Jihoon ended up being the only boy invited to some girl's birthday party. He went out of politeness, and Soonyoung cried alone at home. It wasn't his proudest moment.

Anyways.

She asked him out, and he said no. That's a win, right?

Jihoon shrugs. "I told her sorry, but I'm not interested. It's the truth."

"But she's so pretty!" Soonyoung exclaims. It comes out loud, and he flinches, offering an apologetic glance at the table near them. Quieter, he continues, "And she's like, really smart. And cool. And everyone likes her." Jihoon watches him with raised brows.

"Anything else you'd like to add?"

There's a ball in his chest, all breathlessness and nerves, and it's building up into something too big for his rib cage to hold. He tries to contain it, smother it into nothing, but it's hard.

"I just - I don't get why you wouldn't want to go on a date with her."

Truth be told, this is an insecurity Soonyoung's been sitting on since Jihoon first told him about the situation. Jealousy isn't cute on anyone, he knows, but the thought that she might win Jihoon over was enough to send him spiraling a bit. It doesn't help that she's actually likable.

He knows he should be relieved at the way things turned out. He's mostly just confused.

"Do you even know her, Soonyoung?"

"Well, no, but I've heard - "

" - that she's this really incredible person, and I'd be crazy not to like her back? Is that it?"