I had been doing good. My life was looking up, and I had to give all the credit to Vic.
I quit taking my pills, and Vic of course noticed. He made sure I took them. He even helped me yesterday when people gave me shit at school. He was just amazing. I knew I was falling for him, and I was surprised. I'd never felt these things toward anyone. Vic just made me feel like I mattered, and that's all I'd ever wanted.
Right then, I was trying to find an outfit to wear to his birthday party later. I had no nice clothes, and this was my first party.
What do you wear to a party?
Vic told me to just dress casual, like I normally do, but I felt like this was a special occasion, I mean it was his eighteenth birthday.
I decided on a navy blue sweater and my favorite black skinny jeans.
Despite it being winter, I never wore a coat. I wore my hoodie, but it was thin. Cold never really bothered me.
I looked at myself in the mirror for like the tenth time. I was so paranoid about this.
There were a lot of people coming to Vic's party. He made sure Ronnie wouldn't show up, which is good I guess. I just didn't know how to act around a big crowd of people.
I'd probably end up staying by Vic's side and avoiding everyone else. He was the only person I felt comfortable with.
I heard a car horn and assumed it was Vic. I ran down the stairs and almost into my mother. We hadn't really been speaking. I walked passed her and was reaching for the doorknob when she spoke.
"Kellin," I turned to her. She bit her lip and continued, "Have a good time tonight." She said with a warm smile.
I smiled back and walked outside. Vic was leaning against his car; how cliche.
He smiled as I got closer and opened my door for me. He may be being cheesy, but I really didn't mind. He got in and started driving.
The ride to his house was silent, but it was a comfortable silence.
When we pulled up, I got out of the car and followed Vic into the house. No one else was there yet. There were balloons everywhere. There were also snacks put out and music was playing.
Mike came into the room and smiled at the sight of us.
"What do you think big bro? Did I do good?" He asked in a hopeful tone.
Vic glanced around, smiled, and nodded. Mike was glowing.
"Great! I knew I could never fail at anything." He said in a cocky tone. He then looked at me and smiled.
"Hey, Kellin."
I smiled at him and nodded.
"This party is going to be beast! Just wait 'til all the people get here." Mike ran out of the room.
Vic turned to me.
"I think Mike may be more excited about my birthday than I am." He whispered.
I laughed, and me laughing made him smile. I could tell he liked to see me laugh.
He had been making me really happy lately. I was skeptical when he told me he'd find my happy place, but I think he has. My happy place was there, with Vic.
Not a lot of time passed before people started showing up. I was really anxious, and Vic knew that. He kept me close to him.
"You'll be okay." He assured me.
I nodded. I would be okay. It was just a party, I could handle it. At least that's what I thought until one person in particular walked through the door.
Vic followed my horrified gaze. I felt him tense up next to me. I looked up at his face; he looked really pissed off. I thought he was going to storm off in the direction of Ronnie, but instead he stormed over to Mike, leaving me alone.
Without Vic by my side, I felt unsafe and exposed. I went to the corner of the room and stayed there. Mike and Vic both started walking in my direction. Mike looked worried.
"Kellin, I swear, I didn't invite him. I wouldn't do that. Word of the party must have gotten around and he must have heard about it and decided to drop by." Mike explained.
I could tell by the look on his face that he was scared I wouldn't believe him.
"I believe you, Mike. It's okay. This isn't your fault." I assured him.
I heard him let out a sigh of relief. He walked away and left Vic and I alone. Vic was watching Ronnie's every move, and it made me nervous. I didn't want him starting anything.
"Vic." I said to get his attention. He blinked and looked at me.
"Sorry Kellin, I just want to make sure he's not doing something he shouldn't be." He said and went back to watching Ronnie.
After awhile, Vic stopped paying attention to Ronnie and we sat down on the couch. We were in the middle of a conversation when someone walked up to Vic.
"There are some people getting high in your kitchen." He stated and shuffled away. Vic jumped up from his seat.
"I'll be back." He said, running off to the kitchen.
That feeling of being exposed came back, despite the numerous groups of people standing near by. I was staring at my feet when I heard someone approach me. I glanced up to see Ronnie.
"Who the hell invited you, Faggot?" He asked.
"Vic." I said quietly.
He looked so amused by this.
"You don't belong at a party. Parties are for well-liked people, and well, no one likes you." He said with a smile.
I felt like I was going to start bawling. I could feel the water forming in my eyes already.
"Hey look everyone! Little Kellin here is about to cry!" He mocked me.
Everyone stopped and stared at me. I wanted more than anything to be away from all of this. Ronnie was right. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have even thought I would fit in. I couldn't fit in when no one liked me.
I saw Vic shove two people out of the front door. He turned back to the rest of us and he looked very annoyed.
Until his eyes landed on me.
He knew I wasn't okay. His eyes widened and he started coming toward me. I shook my head and got up from my place on the couch.
I couldn't take this. I ran past Vic. I could hear people laughing and I could hear Vic calling my name, but I wasn't going back there.
