girl next door ✰ l.h.

12 || audrey

Just last night we were on the porch kissing each other with everything we had left in us. Now we were screaming at the top of our lungs until our chests felt tight.

Ashton felt intertwined with every piece within me. But as time passed, it seemed a massive pair of scissors was snipping through all of the red string that sewed us together in the first place. It felt important to bring this up with him. We both agreed not to bottle everything in as we've been ferociously taught through our adolescence.

I started it. I brought up that things felt different. Things seemed to be changing and he was getting distant. At first, it was a smooth conversation. A fire sparked in both of us that we couldn't keep contained. Now we were bringing up every little thing that has happened since that kiss at his house.

I took us too seriously. I put too much stress on him to be perfect. I didn't think about what he wanted. He didn't put in enough time. He never seemed to care. He didn't connect with me how we used to.

"This is done!" I yelled. "I don't want this anymore." I ran my fingers through my hair, not even stopping at the knots.

"Why not?" Ashton asked, stepping towards me. It was such a stupid question. We spent half an hour fighting about this.

"I told you why!" I shot back. I stared out my bedroom window and folded my arms. "We're better off as friends."

Facing the truth was difficult at times. This was one of those. Your brain told you the logic behind it, but your heart was ripping down the middle. The internal conflict made it feel like you were getting a signal that this was wrong. Fighting against your body's malfunction led to devastation.

Ashton put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't turn around. "Okay. Then friends?"

I rolled my eyes, "Sure, Ash."

He let go of me. I heard the rustling of his things and then my bedroom door shut louder than it should've. A moment later, the front door. Then the revving of his car engine. And now it was no longer to be heard.

I briefly glanced up to Luke's window, spotting him sneaking a peak down to me already. I grabbed my curtains and feverishly pulled them shut. I huffed in frustration and embarrassment from Luke witnessing my argument. He never saw me angry or hurt. At least he wasn't the one who did it to me.

My arms stayed crossed and my nose still crunched. I flinched at the sound of on object hitting my window. I ignored it, blowing a strand of hair out of my face. Again, another item hitting the glass. It was a deep bellowing noise. One more throw and Luke might break my window.

I yanked my curtains apart again, peering up at Luke who was ready to throw a tennis ball at my window. He mouthed "hi" to me and gestured for me to open my window. I looked around the room, deciding that I didn't have anything to lose. What I did have to lose was already lost.

I struggled to turn the lock. It was always too tight. I would think that after every window pane conversation I had with Luke it would get more loose by now. I stood corrected.

I sighed as I pushed the window to the top. I poked my head out and leaned over the white painted wood. We engaged in a stare off, wondering who was going to speak first. Neither of us knew what to say, or if we wanted to say anything at all. We finally got out a word, but at the same time. We laughed at the jumbling of our words. I felt happy, and nearly forgot about my split from Ashton.