Learning to Love (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 13

“Ka’Diah no!” I said pulling her back. She was about to chase after some pollen blowing in the wind.

 I followed the directions in which Christina texted me as to where she set up the picnic. I soon found it.  She had the blanket spread out, containers of food all out and just ready to eat.  I brought a cooler of bottled water and fruit juice in which Charles and Karlie carried since I had Camden.  I saw the spot but I didn’t see Christina. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure. I followed directions, where is she?

I looked around.  Then I spotted Christina walking towards me with a broad smile. I instantly smiled.

“Hi Christina!” Karlie said super excited.

“Hey pretty girl. Hi beautiful.” Christina said greeting me with a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey.” I smiled.

“Christina we got kites. I have a bird, a rainbow bird. I can’t wait to fly it.” Christina said.

“Can’t wait to see it. Shall we start the picnic?” Christina said.

“Sure.” I said and so we did.  Christina packed lots of foods.  Chicken salad, turkey sandwiches, sweet potato pie, chips, and plenty of fresh fruit. It was great.  Once everyone had eaten, the kids wanted to play on the playground, which was in viewing sight of where we sat. 

  I sat on the blanket with Christina as she played with Camden.

“Charles’ haircut really is cute.” Christina said.

“Thanks. I thought so too.” I said absentmindedly. I was still stuck on the bed wetting this morning. I was trouble. Ka’Diah was so afraid. She actually looked like she feared me. I mean that didn’t make any sense. I never got violent with her. I mean we started super rocky but I thought we was better now.  Maybe we are, maybe she just having flashbacks. But what triggered.

“Hey.” Christina said suddenly grabbing my face. She turned my face towards her.  She startled me. I don’t know I got lost in thought just that quick.

“Huh?” I said.

“Why aren’t you listening to me? What’s wrong?” Christina said.  I hated how vulnerable and open Christina had me.  However, I loved having someone to turn to when I need help. But I hate needing help.  And she never loses her cool.   She never complains about having to listen to my troubles all day. If anything, she wants to help me through it. I hate it. I never depended on nobody for nothing. I hated that I started. However, I do admit it is pretty nice.  But this openness made me feel kind of naked and uncomfortable in a way.

“Just a rough morning. That’s all. I’m ok really.” I said.  Christina looked at me, and I wish she didn’t.

“What happened?” Christina said.

“Something is wrong Christina. And it’s bothering me and I’m dying to know what happened with the kids. They don’t like for me to leave them. They think I won’t come back. I literally have to beg that they trust that I’ll come back.  And this morning Ka’Diah she wet the sheets. She was frightened, and like just really afraid.  I can’t shake this.” I said.

“She wet the sheets? Does she usually do that?” Christina asked.

“No, this was the first time since I’ve had her.” I said.

“Yeah something triggered it. She could have had a nightmare.  When do they go to therapy?” Christina asked.

“Tuesday.” I said.

“You tell Dr. Gordon about it. She could give you some answers. And she could also work on it.” Christina said.

“Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I wanna do something else too though.” I said.