Introverted Hearts // Josh Dun

chapter twenty four :: blame

"You don't- I mean, you can't help me anymore," CJ told her. "And I'm capable of doing it on my own."

"You aren't-"

"Stop," CJ interrupted her. "I'm not staying. I can't stay."

Jenna was silent as tears well up in her eyes

"Don't," CJ shook her head, trying not to cry. "I-I need to move on from this."

"It's been years, CJ," Jenna reminded her. "I-I can't do this without you."

"Yes you can," CJ told her. "You were fine when I was with Josh last month."

"No I wasn't," Jenna's voice broke. "Tyler was here all the time because I just couldn't get through the day without sobbing. I felt so guilty about everything."

"So you weren't sad because I was gone," CJ pointed out. "You were sad because you were guilty."

"No-"

"I'm not saying that you don't care about how I feel." CJ clarified.

"Good because I do care-"

"I'm saying that you don't want me to stay for me," CJ interrupted her. "You want me to stay for you."

Jenna was silent. CJ immediately regret what she said, but she knew it was true.

"Josh is gonna be here soon," CJ said. "To help me pack."

As soon as CJ closed the door, she heard Jenna break down. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath to stop herself from doing the same thing.

"CJ?" Josh cracked her door open to find her sitting on the floor, sorting through her clothes.

"Hey." CJ stood up and gave Josh a hug. He noticed it was a little longer and tighter than usual, but he asked nothing of it. "So you're just sorting through your clothes?"

"Mhm," CJ took a seat on the floor. "This is everything. I haven't gone through it since we moved in so it's a lot."

"That's okay. We can get it done." Josh sat next to her, having her a small kiss on the cheek.

"So we have things I'm keeping, donations, and then your stuff." CJ pointed at each pile.

"Wow," Josh was amazed at his pile. "That's all mine?"

"Yeah." CJ nodded.

"I've been looking for this shirt for months." Josh pulled one out, laughing as he did so.

"Well, at least we know that now they'll all be in one place."

The pair spent the evening packing and removing lights from walls, which was a much bigger task than it sounded like, due to the vast amount of lights she owned.

"You still have this?" Josh pulled the Christmas light necklace off the wall. It was the one he got her before they got together when they went Christmas tree shopping.

"Of course," CJ told him. "I wasn't gonna throw it away. It has lights. Plus, you gave it to me."

"It's dead though." Josh pointed out.

"That's because there were nights where you weren't here and I would feel so terrible, so I used everything that reminded me of you to emulate your presence, and it died."

"Aw," Josh cooed. "CJ's in love."

"So are you." CJ replied before giving him a sweet kiss.

"Do you wanna order some food?" CJ asked.