Cupcakes and Mistakes

1

Lisa's POV

"Lisa, make sure to be back in an hour, okay? Or head straight to the dressing room where we'll transfer," I heard our manager stated which I just returned with a cheeky smile.

"Araso, manager-nim. Saranghe!" I exclaimed, the natural aegyo on my voice, as what they always say,  coming out making her laugh a little.

"I swear to God if you aren't so adorable I won't even allow you to go out. You are about to perform in less than two hours," she shook her head as she turned her attention back to my unnies who are all sitting still while they get their face dolled up.

"Yah, Lalisa, don't go around making some trouble, okay?" I heard Jisoo unnie screaming which I responded with a loud giggle before finally going out of the room.

With a black cap and face mask, I swiftly strode around the vicinity trying to hide and blend in with the staff who usually go around the area. It's common for a staff of every company to also wear a mask as long as you're wearing an id for a distinction which I do.

Some of our staff let me borrow their id as I usually do this before awards. I roam around the area and watch people as they do their stuff.

It's not something I just do for fun but it kinda helps me calm down. I got too much energy inside me like it's about to burst, I need something to keep everything intact.

Honestly, it was Jennie unnie who suggested that I do after I accidentally broke one of the make up kit inside our dressing room as I try to calm my nerves. Now, it becomes a habit.

Even my boss told me it's fine as long as I make sure to be safe.

At first, I just roam around the place wasting a little time as I try to get fresh air. Until I started paying attention to my surroundings and even mingle with a few people too.

I watch our fans and even the fans of other idols. I listen to their cute and adorable conversations and even found myself watching when some get a little fight.

As much as I wanted to stop them, to tell them how thankful we are that they support us, we'll all get into a lot of trouble if I reveal myself.

Of course, there were moments when a fan somehow recognizes me but I make sure not to linger too much until fact hit them straight to the face.

I've seen a lot of secrets too, some that I will make sure to keep to myself.

My fingers probably weren't enough if I'd to count the number I saw idols secretly meeting.

If I open my mouth or it gets slipped, I'd pretty much ruin a lot of idol's career.

But I won't. It's their life. They date secretly because they will be condemned and judged by the harsh society. And who am I to do that to them?

It's not rare that some fans turn their backs on their idols once they date. And I hate that.

Why can't one love without being restricted?

But I chose this. I chose this dream so I have to deal with it. Things won't be different just because I am starting to act like a whiny bitch.

What I should be, is a grateful idol who's lucky to find some people to love me even with my imperfections.

Those thoughts are what I always put in mind, that even though there are things that are painful, that is hurting, that I don't want to see, I shut my mouth - we shut our mouths.