The Way We Are // Jori A.U. (DISCONTINUED)

chapter 3 - Paralyzed and Filled With Rage

SO! For those who came here from 3:00am, I thought to tell you that a new chapter is on the way and is spicy AF so be prepared for a detailed chapter of a sexual experience both girls go through and also some romance which we all fuck with, and it will be uploaded later tonight or tomorrow so don't worry I haven't given up on 3:00am yet 😂 I just couldn't continue writing on the train and on the bus because of its graphic contents
____________________________________________________

"Really?" Jade laughed, almost snorting out beer from her nose.
"Yeah, and I've never seen him wear anything tighter than that!" Tori laughed, animatedly storytelling an event that happened.
"Alright, so tell me what's happened with you?" Jade asked, starting up her e-cigarette again.
"What do you mean?" Tori asked, her face slowly falling.
"I mean mentally, are you okay? You know, with the changes you've had to go through. I heard New York has snow." Jade smiled. However, Tori was not smiling and instead, her face has fallen slightly from that abrupt question. She didn't know how to answer that and she wasn't sure if she wanted to.
"Well, it's been rough, but I managed to adjust to the big city, and the cold winters." Tori replied slowly, thinking cautiously of every word that escaped her mouth.
"I see. Did your family come to visit you or is it you that comes to visit?" Jade asked, vape coming out of her mouth muffling her words a little. Tori's face fell and her smile turned into a small frown before she took a swing from her beer.
"Uhm, no. No one visits anyone really. Mainly because my Dad's been busy with his police shit, and I've been busy with school, my team and my music." She explained. There was a long silence between them that made the air seem heavier than rocks. Jade then took a sip from her beer, and placed it beside her on the ledge.
"Why don't I believe you?" She muttered.
"What?"
"Yeah, I feel like you're hiding something." Jade frowned. Tori just let a sad smile take over before she shook her head and lit up a cigarette.
"I'm hiding a lot of things. I know you are, too. You want to know the truth however, and that's what you'll get." She chuckled bitterly before taking a drag from her Camel light. "I feel like I'm taken ten steps back from everything due to shit that's happened recently, and I feel paralyzed. I feel like I've been pushed back because I see the problem now and I know the truth and it sucks because I know that I'm the problem and that's the truth. Apparently, I caused the problems and now I feel like I don't know who I am and who I've been all this time and every time I look in the mirror I think to myself like, who is this monster wearing my skin? I tried forgetting about all that with my music and with work and I keep contacting my manager into getting me to do more things, but it just doesn't really help the fact that I'm just a really lost woman in an unknown city with demons stuck in my head telling me what's wrong with me and that I'm an error and that I keep making mistakes. I feel like I can't even control myself anymore as well, like with smoking and drinking and lashing out unnecessarily when things go wrong. All that because I'm not in the best place right now mentally." Tori sighed as she shared her thoughts and puffed on her finishing cigarette before lighting a new one up. Jade didn't know what to say, but instead she felt bad because Tori Vega wasn't like this; she was always a positive ray of sunshine and she didn't know what to do to help this girl in front of her. Jade didn't even think of it romantically, but she thought about it as a friend and a person with moral logic. So, she did the only thing she could do at that time - she hugged Tori. At first, the latina was in shock, but immediately relaxed and hugged her back.
"Alright, enough with me. How about you?" Tori asked, faking a happy smile.
"What about me?" Jade asked, vaping from her cigarette.
"Nothing, just tell me where you're at. You know, mentally, emotionally... Romantically." Tori muttered the last word. Jade smirked before answering bluntly.
"Mentally, I'm in a weird place right now. Going through some things that suck. I had an agent in the beginning, but he ended being a complete ass and it just didn't work out. Now, I'm trying to land myself acting jobs, but currently I work at the Blaze as a waitress and bartender and during the weekends I perform at the Hades bar with my friends as a job and as a fun way to kill time. It - It's fun, but I did expect more from myself and it is slightly disappointing knowing that I'm not a huge actress or singer yet, but I'm sure I'll make it! I'm still 22 and I've got a long way ahead of me.
" Emotionally, I'm pretty good. I'm bene through my fair share of breakups, but I broke up with all of them because they just couldn't give me that spark and that excitement that I need. In other words, they bored me to death. Romantically, now... I'm single. I'm single and I feel like finally ready to date which is just great because I used to be in this shitty relationship with this girl, Princess and she was honestly my first love and I will admit I treated her like whatever, but I did believe she was my wife at some point and that I was going to marry her, but she almost cheated on me and that made me rage and cheat on her with 15 more girls, but I went to a shrink and got help for my anger issues and I signed up for Mixed Martial Arts to let my anger out there and hopefully learn to discipline myself and extinguish the rage flame in me." Jade smiled. Tori was in shock with all the information that crawled into her brain, and she didn't know what to say and how to say it. She learnt that Jade was officially a lesbian, and that she had anger management issues and that she was vengeful in relationships and that she's still trying to find her way to doing something she loves instead of waitressing and bartendering. Instead, Tori decided to play safe and nod.
"So, all that... I'm glad you're doing better now, I assume. Also, you're also into girls?"
"Also? No, I realized after highschool that I didn't like dick anymore." Jade laughed, causing Tori to giggle at that comment. "But yeah, I'm better now." She smized.