Letters from India - Part 2

29. Letter to Barbara - Dec 1990

Swami seemed to avoid the subject totally. Someone said He sent a telegram to Joan's husband, something like, "The created has merged in the Creator" or something like that, that made it sound like she had merged in the Stupa! Ah yes, that morning Joan had had first line and an incredible deep stare by Swami that completely blew her away (how to say, "took her breath away"?) - she had told several people about it.

As for me and what I feel, hmmm, of course it is a blessing to die while immersed in the Lord's seva, in Prasanthi Nilayam, but, what about: what a sickening, tragic way to go? What if there was fear? (Bonnie's face had shocked expression). Would Sai be there to counter-act any bad after-death experiences, or did He leave them on their own, as He tends to do in life? Why isn't He making any positive comments on it, or any comments in fact? So, as with most of us here, I have very mixed feelings about it.

Now that I've spent six pages remembering tragedy, I will go on to your letter's questions!

Thank you for the beautiful Christmas card, so cleverly unsigned. Ah, how well you know me! You know I like to recycle things, and now I can re-use the unsigned card. To you also - Holy XMas, Blissful, Grace-ful 1991!

Well! I have been having positively horrible luck in the lines. Yet, even from afar, to see the lotus face and sweet smiles with raised eyebrows is, what to say, Bliss. :-) Swami finds many an opportunity to welcome people with delighted smiles. Hair blowing in the gentle winds, robe splattered with rain drops when He comes in soft rains, or the calculating look when He searches the eager faces to see how far to throw the candies off Birthday trays! Daily life with the Lord.

Unlike 60th B-day, as far as I could understand, Swami didn't really give any grand great informative message or future predictions. He simply brought the people's attention to what He's doing - Grand Things!

To my eyes, I don't think it was much more people than 60th B-day, especially if you count by how many came to the functions. The Stadium always had place in the last half, although the "bleachers" were full to capacity on all the days. Someone said estimates were 1,250,000 people. 60th B-day they said 750,000, yes? Swami had predicted 2,500,000, I think He included those who wished to come also, yes?

However, the ashram was always abuzz with activity, thousands always wandering about. The tents they constructed behind the sheds were full and well-used, but even then every inch of space was full with luggage and people in the Ashram. They made homes the full length of South Prasanthi walk-way, all under the flower-trees they slept, making it very difficult to pluck the flowers! All buildings except Round Houses, were verandah-capacity, full of people. Even the new West Prasanthis 7, 8, & 9! When it rained on 16 November, the masses outside rushed frantically to the new West Prasanthis before they were even opened! When, several days later, the new owners arrived to their allotted rooms, it must have been nice stepping over luggage and bodies to get there, ha, ha! Of course, the Sarva Dharma Stupa area was naturally full of luggage and drying clothes, couldn't walk through, no passage. We walked past the stores to get to the other side. One nice thing was that they opened all the roofs for people to sleep on. Every small space utilized!

It's true that it would have been too agonizing for you to come for only a few days of crowd craziness then have to lave. My prayers are that you'll be able to come for "summer vacation" the less-crowded nice Brindavan darshans, but mostly Kodai/Ooty stay. He did not go to Kodai Kanal/Ooty in 1990. Hopefully He'll go this year, with you along! :-)

You are lucky indeed to have the Inward Gaze! For most residents here it seems they have no inner or outer gaze - just a blank, bleak present! How sad! As for the outer, many devotees the world over are going about feeling it's a dream or that they are robots. My mother is one big case! I tell her not to worry but it seems to overwhelm her. I can't remember if I told you, she wanted to know why you hadn't called her the last time you arrived back from here (Parthi). She said that you always contacted her before. I said you were busy with "Matro Devo Bhavah, Pitro Devo Bhavah" (feeling parents as God and serving them!).