Letters from India - Part 2

41. Venkamma in Hospital with Flu - Dec 1991

 Venkamma in Hospital with Flu

December 4, 1991

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Parents,

First and foremost, thanks to the wonders of nature my foot is finally, fully healed. No worries.

As for Vijai Sri’s pens, I have been keeping them safe here so she has something to play with on her frequent visits. So, I use them when I wish, also!

To be honest, Amma (Venkamma) would not find much to do with colored pens except to give them away to grandchildren or to “keep safely.” The Telugu villagers like to display or put away safely interesting items, instead of using them.

Well here all was fine. After Birthday I got the normal after-B-day cold like the rest of the population of the ashram. Then poor Amma got “viral fever-flu” (according to Swami), water entered her lungs, she suffered intensely for three days before Swami gave permission to go to the hospital. Swami kept saying, “It’s nothing – only flu! It will go away. No worry!”

Poor Amma was constantly coughing, unable to lie down, unable to contain urine, having pain. I have been in the hospital 24 hours a day and the other helper Allemma, brings food, boils drinking water and spends the night. Thanks to my hospital training (which I ran away from!) I'm used to the lifting, pulling, changing bed sheets, etc. Now (one week later) she is much improved. She’s eating, able to sleep, is talking again, but she still coughs. There is still a bit of water in the left lung to be cleared – right lung is fully clear.

She feels she can't bear any more pain and loses hope sometimes: “Where is God now?” “Take me to the roof – I’ll jump off!” “Give me an injection to die!” etc. Meanwhile, Swami keeps sending word that all will be OK. Amma says that He always says things will be OK! For Him, everything is OK!

So of course, it is an awful strain of body and mind, for her and for me too (she came on Sunday, I think December 1st). For days we had no sleep or food but now things have improved. All are wishing Swami will pay a visit to see her but unfortunately, His driver has taken a 1-week holiday and Swami can't even get out to see His precious construction work! They say that the big hospital finished all it’s arranged operations and has now closed down for another year of construction work.

Well! I hope my next letter will be all full of good news. Amma will be here for another 10- days at least. I hope you are all healthy and happy there.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya

 __________________________

Still in the Hospital General Hospital

January 6-13, 1992

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Parents,

Divya conveys her namaskars. I was going to write when we returned home but, Swami keeps changing the date so we are still in the hospital (five weeks complete now).

Amma is fine now; she is only weak and is unsteady in walking. She is VERY eager to return home and have Swami’s Darshan but, alas, Swami keeps sending word that she should take rest (because if she comes home, countless crowds would bother her).

I am also eager to see Swami, but can't. No one else is willing to be with her during Darshan times! Now it is dangerous – she could get up at any time and if no one is there to watch her if she falls..

She is practicing walking alone but sways a lot and someone must be there to hold her up. Otherwise she is normal – eating, sleeping well, blessing people and shouting if I do anything wrong. 

The weather is very cold now, but the hospital room is warm – maybe another reason why Sai wants her here some more days.

Christmas, my birthday and New Year’s day – all passed quietly for me in the hospital room. I heard reports – on Christmas day there were carols (sung rock & roll style as usual!) by Sai’s college boys, and sweets were distributed to all. In the evening was discourse and drama by foreigners, in the Poornachandra hall. On New Year’s Day (which He sometimes does and sometimes does not celebrate), there was music by the college boys in the morning, sweet prasad distributed to all, and in the evening there was discourse in the Mandir. They say Swami talked all about Atma and not about the “New Year’s Day.” (That will only start on 4 April, Telugu New Year’s day, as far as He’s concerned! Then only all the predictions will be made.)

Next event is the Sport’s Meet which will begin on 10 January which marks the good 6-month half of the year beginning. Swami usually celebrates it with prasad and discourse.

Although Venkamma has sent word several times requesting Swami to come and visit her, He only says, “I’ll see,” and hasn’t come again since the first visit (when He said, “It’s nothing, you’ll be home again in a couple of days,” which is a Telugu phrase meaning ‘some day, not forever’!)

I am OK – healthy, etc. I suppose I would’ve got sick again if I had been in the cold and crowd of Christmas. We heard many thousands of foreigners came, more than previous years, and the place was packed as if it were Swami’s Birthday.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya

 _______________________

Venkamma Back Home Again & Weak

January 13, 1992 

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Parents,

Sai Ram – Divya conveys her namaskars. Lo and behold – we are back home again! Yes, on January 10th Swami sent word to the hospital that Amma can come home. Her room South A-13 is full of junk and bugs, so we are temporarily in South A-10. They sprayed the room (throwing all stuff, papers, etc., etc. in big baskets) and now it is up to me to clean & sort it all out. But this time I will have no mercy for treasured mementos and other things she’s “put safely.” This time all goes, I can tell you that.

Amma is OK now, but she is still very, very weak. She needs someone around 24 hours a day. She’s too unstable when she walks, she even needs help getting to the bathroom. The last X-Ray showed still a tiny bit of infection in one lung.

But she is more than fine mentally – talking, giving prasad and blessing people as usual.

She isn’t going to bhajan or Darshan, due to weakness, but she can see Swami’s Darshan from her doorstep (looks out onto the compound). Plus she plans to go to the Mandir next festival day (14th or 15th January) when Sai calls all the relatives in for Namaskar. She hasn’t seen Swami close-up since mid-December when He came to the hospital that one time to see her.

Swami is fine and is giving Darshan as usual. There are so many thousands here, especially foreigners, and we living here know that it will never, ever decrease any more. He said after 60th crowds would increase but now after 65th it’s been full-speed ahead, there is no end to the tens of thousands of eyes upon Him. We can only be grateful that we have a place, some place, to see Him and witness the tidal wave that the Avatar is riding upon.

As for me, I am fine and healthy and so glad to be seeing Swami after being cooped up in hospital room for six weeks! Amma’s other helpers are all old and sick (besides having other work) so they are all too happy to leave me 24 hours a day with Amma. I am living with Amma in the room, though I am still paying rent on the upstairs room (the gardener has it all for herself!) due to official reasons (never mind, after all I am using Swami’s water and electricity; and I need to be kept on the office books).

Here it is very cold still, but at least in the afternoons it warms up a bit. Within a month things should warm up and soon after we will enjoy an unbearably hot summer!

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!

Love,

Divya