Introverted Hearts // Josh Dun

chapter twenty three :: trying to trust

CJ snickered and nudged him lightly.

"But seriously," Josh forced her to look at him. "Don't ever feel like you have to do that. Because you don't. And as long as I'm around, nobody will force you too. I'll knock the lights out of them."

CJ smiled a bit as Josh wiped her tears.

***

"Where are you going?" Jenna asked as she saw CJ start for the door.

"Out." CJ pulled her sweatshirt on. 

"With who?" Jenna was astonished. Her best friend hardly ever left, let alone went out.

"My boyfriend who loves and respects me." CJ remarked.

"Where are going?" Jenna asked. "Is it a party?"

"We're going to dinner with his family." CJ replied.

"Dinner?" Jenna asked in disbelief. "With his family?"

"Yeah," CJ replied, the sarcasm thick in her voice. "Believe it or not, I really care about him and we've been dating for months and I've never met his family."

"They're really nice," Jenna assured her. "His mom will love you. You're not even nervous?"

"Of course I am," CJ replied. "I get shaky just thinking about it."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Jenna offered. "I could get ready real quick-"

"You're not my crutch anymore, Jenna." CJ told her. "I'll be fine."

"Yeah," Jenna nodded, trying not to show how hurt she was. "I just wanted to make sure you were fine with being by yourself."

"I'm not by myself," CJ argued. "I'll be with Josh."

"I mean-"

"I'll be without you," CJ corrected Jenna. "And I'll be fine."

"CJ-"

"I gotta go," CJ cut Jenna off. "Josh is waiting for me."

"I'll be at work if you-" Jenna was cut off by the slamming door, but still quietly finished her sentence. "Need me."

"So it's gonna be my mom, Laura," Josh began listening. "My dad, Bill, my two sisters, Abby and Ashley, and then my brother, Jordan."

"That's a lot." CJ commented.

"I'll introduce them," Josh assured her. "And if you need to leave, you can go to my old room. It's the first one on left up the steps."

CJ nodded, but stayed silent.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked.

"I'll be fine," CJ assured him. "I'm gonna try my absolute best not to have to leave, but I can't promise anything."

"It's okay," Josh told her. "Don't feel bad if you have to."

"I love you," CJ said. "I really don't wanna be an inconvenience for you."

"CJ," Josh shook his head. "You're not."

"I wanna make you happy and I wanna make your family happy-"

"You already do." Josh assured her.

"But I feel like I could be doing so much more."

"You don't need to," Josh assured her. "You're working on yourself and that's all that matters. I'm so happy with you. I'm so in love with you. It doesn't matter what you have to do to better yourself and leaving to catch you breath won't affect how any of us see you."