All Strings Attached (taglish)

Regression Equation

It's so hard 

Keeping my composure 

And pretend I don't see how 

Your body curves beneath your clothes 

And your laugh 

Is pure and unaffected 

It frightens me to know so well the place I shouldn't go 

I know I gotta take the noble path 

Cuz I don't want you to question 

The intentions that I have 

"Freyja."

Gusto kong masuka sa tunog ng boses niya but I managed a smile.

"Zachry Killian."

Humarap ako sa kanya. I downed the entire glass of cosmopolitan that I held in my left hand and signaled the bartender for a beer, even though I still had the other glass in my right hand.

I should go 

Before my will gets any weaker 

And my eyes begin to linger 

Longer than they should 

I should go 

Before I lose my sense of reason 

And this hour holds more meaning 

Than it ever could 

I should go 

I should go 

Baby, I should go 

"5 drinks in one go? I hope you're not driving." I rolled my eyes at him as I took a sip from the remaining glass.

"Please. I can handle it. It's cool." I took a sip again.

 I don't mean to leave you with a trivial excuse 

And when you call tomorrow, I'll know what to do 

"I hope you're cool about ... this."

I took a final gulp of the drink in my hand. Anong 'this' pinagsasabi nito. Ang tagal naman ng beer, nyeta, ubos na tong drink ko.

"Tsss... why would I not be cool with... this? What are you talking about? I mean, I know what we are -- it's okay -- and I know what we are not. It's cool."

 I should go 

Before my will gets any weaker 

And my eyes begin to linger 

Longer than they should 

I should go 

Before I lose my sense of reason 

And this hour holds more meaning 

Than it ever could 

I should go 

I should go 

Baby, I should go

Sa wakas dumating ang beer. Tumungga ako, straight hanggang halos maubos ko ito. Nakatitig lang siya sa akin, ramdam ko. Nang natapos ang paginom, kinuha ko ang kamay niya at nilagay ang bote dito.

"Tell them I had to go. Goodnight, Zeke."

Dali dali kong kinuha ang bag ko at lumabas ng club.

Putang-inang puso to.

---

Pagdating ko sa labas, narinig kong may mga yabag na nakasunod sa akin. Nagmadali ako sa paglalakad papunta sa kung saan naka-park ang auto ko. Konting hakbang pa pero in-unlock ko na ito. Sumakay ako agad sa drivers seat, nagulat ako nang may sumakay din sa passenger seat. Hinablot nito sa kamay ko ang susi. Napatingin ako sa mukha ng walanghiya.

"ZEKE, ANO BA!!" Hawak hawak nya ako sa magkabilang balikat.

"What are you doing? Magmamaneho ka ng ganyan? Magpapakamatay ka? Ano ba!? Ikaw may gusto nito!"

"Ibalik mo ang susi ko! Bumaba ka!!! Masyado ka naman atang bilib sa sarili mo para masabi mong magpapakamatay ako!"

"Hindi ako aalis dito, Freyja. Kausapin mo ako ng maayos, wag mong gawin yan sa sarili mo."

"BUMALIK KA NA SA LOOB!!!! UTANG NA LOOB, Killian!! I’m not doing anything to myself! You’re overreaching. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!"

"IF IT'S NOT ABOUT ME, THEN WHAT?????!!!" umaalingawngaw sa sasakyan ang boses namin.

"THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME!!! Don't be too full of yourself! Akala mo, I'll waste my days over you? MY GOD." Bumaba ako ng sasakyan. Nakaka-suffocate sa loob.

Agad agad siyang sumunod. Nandun lang kami sa gilid ng kotse. Hinawakan niya ako at sinandal sa sasakyan.

"Frey... please. Talk to me." He touched my face.

"I have nothing to say." Iniwas ko ang mukha ko.

"You have so much to say. You just keep holding it in." He lifted my chin to face him. I now noticed how close our faces were.

"This isn't about you. It's all about me. AKO. Ako lang." Pabulong kong nasabi.

"I don't believe you." Mas lumalapit na ang mukha niya. Tinulak ko siya palayo. Malakas.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Binuksan ko ulit ang pinto ng sasakyan para sumakay.

"NO!" Sinara niya ang pinto.

"TANGINA, ZEKE!! Bumalik ka na doon! Leave me alone!!! Leave me alone." Tinulak ko siya ulit.

I froze.

Dahil niyakap niya ako. Sobrang higpit.

Sobrang higpit.

"I CAN'T... I can't, Freyja." He held me in his arms, his hand on my head, holding me even closer.

I felt the tears.

The tears I have been holding back all week... finally fell.

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