My hands are shaking. My knees are weak.
Althea is here...
Truth be told hindi ko akalain na makikita ko pa siya ever. Definitely not here...
... Hindi siguro lab, kaya naman kahit dito lang sa Pinas magwork diba? Mahirap mahiwalay sa pamilya. Lalo na ikaw, can you imagine living far away from your family? More so... Papayagan ka kaya ng daddy mo if ever? Ok na ko dito... Ok na ko... Basta kasama kita... Kuntento ako.
That was her answer when I asked her if she ever thought of moving to a different country. I guess time has really changed her... Us...
After I dealt with the urgent issue at the reception, I hurriedly went back to the bar hoping to see her... Talk to her more. There's this ache in my chest that is making it hard to breathe. Creating an inexplicable sense of urgency. I want to see her... Be in her presence...
Hey Kev, where's the woman I was talking to earlier? The one sitting at that table?
I'm not sure Jade, I didn't actually see her leave. By the time I looked that way, table was empty already.
Did she charge her drink to a room?
Hmmm... Nope, paid upfront.
Oh... ok, thanks...
I missed her... I miss her...
I'm not exactly sure what else I wanted to say, all I know is that I wanted to talk to her. Bahala na...
I went straight to my office to check the reservations list and look for Althea's room number. To my surprise and frustration, her name was nowhere to be found. I must've checked the damn system more than 5 times by now!
How could this be though? Is the reservation under someone else's name? Is she with someone?
Of course she is...
This is karma Jade, what makes you think that someone as wonderful as Althea is still single after all these years??? Asumerang palaka ka talaga minsan!
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
I was in this state of craziness when Sheena walked into the office...
Oh, Jade! You're still here... Sabi ko naman sayo, you can take a weekend off. We'll be ok... Even if that inspector person comes in, wala naman tayo magagawa kasi hindi natin siya makikilala diba? Have faith in the people we hired and trained...
No... it's not that... uhmmm... i mean, yes, that's why I'm here. Pero that's not why I'm stressed. Kasi sheens... Althea is here.
WHAAAAAAT?! ALTHEA THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ALTHEA?! THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY ALTHEA?! THE BIGGEST REGRET OF YOUR LIFE ALTHEA???!!!
SSSHHHHH!!! Ano ka ba naman! Ang lakas ng boses mo! Yah... she's a guest at the moment. I saw her sa bar earlier tapos...
Nanghingi ka ng tawad tapos nagmakaawang tanggapin ka niya ulit?!
Are you crazy?!
Pero admit it... Yun naman talaga gusto mo gawin.
It's not like that's ever gonna happen noh..
So you do admit it, you want her back.
... but too much time has passed...
And so? Alam ko at alam mo na all this time, si Althea lang naman ang mahal mo. You have just been using the issues in your life as an excuse for your sadness. Pero in truth, sad ka kasi pinakawalan mo siya.
Pero sheen... What are the chances of her forgiving me diba?
That's exactly it Jade. You have to find out what are the chances. You left her because of "what ifs" tapos ngayon sasabihin mo na you're not even gonna try kasi "what if" na naman? Sa totoo lang Jade... Kumukulot ang bangs ko sa stress sayo.
All I could give in response is a sigh. She is speaking the truth... but as with any truth, it's simpler said than done.
Sheena left me with a few more words of encouragement and positivity before heading out.
So, ano na nga ba gagawin ko? I guess the first step is to formally ask for forgiveness. Kahit na may iba na siya, we can at least be friends diba?
Before I knew it, late night crept in and I started to feel like my head is caving in. I'm actually unsure what the cause is, stress ba sa work, is it hunger, or is it Althea?
I decide to go to the bar area and and have dinner before I head home. At least kung gutom nga ang dahilan, may solusyon ako for it.
Not so wisely of me, I ended up drinking more than actually eating. Couldn't help it. Masyadong magulo isip ko right now, just needed the temporary clarity alcohol gives. The downside is, I know I'm too drunk to drive home.
No choice, I make my way to the front desk to ask one of the staff if we have a vacant room so I can stay the night. Nothing out of the ordinary naman, I do this whenever I stay late in the office and I get too tired to make my way home. First time to do this due to being drunk though. I'll deal with everything else tomorrow. I'll deal with Althea tomorrow. Tonight, I sleep. Pause muna, nakakapagod na eh...
I slowly, drunkenly, and magically make my way through the hallway and find myself in front of the room when I see something that shocks the drunkenness out of my system...
