Started With a Lie

Chapter Thirty

            What do I want him to say? What answer am I searching for?

            “Ivory,” Lee says again. His hand reaches over and takes mine and I am ready to give it up. To say screw reality and let’s live in our fantasy forever.

            “Lee,” I say, mirroring him. I let him take my hand.

            “I meant everything I said.” He looks down at our hands and runs his thumb over the lines on my palm. “When I say I love you, I mean it. And I say I’ll fight for you—I also mean that.”

            “But, Lee, it’s not going to work. Lying about our relationship was one thing but now that our feelings are real…I’m…I’m afraid.” I understand now. I’m scared. I don’t want him to leave me and I don’t want to leave him but even if he does fight for me, it’s going to take more than words.

            “Hey,” he says softly. “Hey.” His hand leaves my hand and reaches for my chin. He tilts my head up and his eyes look so sad. “Tell me you aren’t leaving me already.”

            “No—no.” I close my eyes and sigh. “I’m afraid that one day I’ll have to.”

            He reaches over and pulls me into an embrace and I feel blood rushing to my cheeks because he has no shirt on. “Good. As long as you don’t want to leave me, I will be here, Ivory.” He rubs my back in soothing circles. “I’m going to fight. I’m going to talk to my mother…get Penny out of the picture.”

            I pull back and stare at him. “You’re what?”

            Lee’s fingers slowly outline my face. “I don’t think it’s fair to you or Penny. You took Mark out of the picture—told him straight up that you don’t need him. The prick didn’t obviously understand.” There’s a fleeting look of anger but then it’s gone. “And if you can do that for me, I sure as hell can do that for you, baby.”

            “Really?”

            “Yes. It’ll take time and small baby steps and lots of work and complications,” Lee says, brushing my cheek with his fingers, “but I will take forever fighting if it means that one day that I can go out walking to—I don’t know—the grocery store without having to worry about stupid things.”

            I place my hand over his and kiss his fingers. I’m smiling. “Lee, then you already know that I’m not going anywhere. We can do this together. I’ll fight.”

            This is what I wanted. Reassurance that what we have isn’t just some one-day thing. That he’s going to wake up tomorrow and feel the same because, well, he’s Lee and I’m me. You can see why I’m insecure.

            “I know you can fight,” Lee says, grinning. “Trust me, my balls haven’t recovered yet from your previous angry outburst.”

            I giggle. “Sorry.”

            He kisses my forehead. “Okay to leave now? Brent’s going to kill me twice if I don’t bring you back—and trust me, right now, I really don’t want to.”

            I nod as he pulls away before starting the engine again and driving. Looking at him makes me want to do this. I want to fight for him. What’s love if it’s not worth fighting for?

            “Hey, Lee?”

            “Yeah?”

            “I love you.”