Strength From Within (A Naruto Neglect Book)

6

Naruto was shaken up by this, and deep down, he knew this to be true. He had often caught glimpses of ninja returning from missions with blood staining their flak jacket, bodies carried over their shoulder as they rushed to the hospital. The occasional beatings from villagers had started to teach him about who not to trust, how people had empty looks in their eyes from loss or pain. He liked to shut out those thoughts though, so it didn't seem so bad.

"You have to lie, deceive and steal. Kill or maim innocent people for the sake of a village that uses you as its tool. You are told not to show emotion, to put the mission before all else. Everyone the village has is a weapon. This village claims importance on comrades, but you still need to watch your back, because not everyone will be kind. And lastly, you have to kill people in an instant, and the moment you hesitate may very well be the moment you die."

Naruto kneeled on the floor, shaking. As Kurama spoke memories of war were leaked into his head. Death, disease, famine, children orphaned and hunted for their bloodline, and that was only the beginning. They were gruesome images that Naruto hoped to never see again, but deep down knew he might have to if he followed down the path of a ninja. It was almost too much for him to take, he was young and wasn't quite ready yet.

"The reality of being a ninja, kid," Kurama said gently, "Is that it is not a perfect picture. It changes your life forever, and once you enter, there is no going back."

"Kurama?" Naruto whispered, tears rolling down his face silently. "Why are you telling me this now? Why not let me live under false truths for a few more years like the other kids?"

"Because the ninja life is rough, and if you chose to go down that path I simply cannot tolerate a weak host."

Naruto's heart sunk. Although he had spent only a brief time with Kurama, he thought that just maybe, if he was lucky, the fox might have a soft spot for him, and he could have another person in his small family of Shizune, Tsunade and himself.

From inside the seal, Kurama muttered a quiet "I'm sorry, kit." He was ashamed of what he had done, but he knew it would be for the best, right? Naruto would make his decision and everything would be alright, or at least he hoped. The fox never had to look after others, it had been so long since he had been with his family, his creator and the other biju, and so he didn't know how to go about it. He just had to hope he'd made the right decision.

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Naruto sat on the floor for another 10 minutes, whimpering and crying. The mental link with Kurama was cut off, and he could not enter into his mindscape. As much as he wanted to go to Kurama, week comfort from him despite what the fox had done, he couldn't. He needed to take his mind off things, he needed to become stronger so he could stop that from happening, so that he could protect innocent people from the ravages of war or greedy, ill-willed people.

Deciding that it would do him no good to sit around and do nothing, Naruto retrieved the chakra control scrolls for the various exercises, and placed them in a pouch, running out of the house to the training ground from the other day.

There were plenty of leaves there, and he soon began to try the leaf sticking exercise. He had little success, with the leaves always burning up or igniting into flames as soon as he put chakra into them. Deciding that he had not very good control for something that little, he would start on something that would give him a larger area to spread out his chakra.

"Tree climbing exercise, huh?" Naruto didn't get much progress at all, but the tree wasn't burning, so that was a first. Repeating the exercise until about mid afternoon, Naruto had gotten one and a half meters up the tree. He felt discouraged by it, but quickly lost that feeling on his way back once he saw genin teams only getting to about 5 meters up, and according to their teammate, they had been doing it for a day already. They were full fledged genin, while he wasn't even in the academy, so he counted it as a start. He wasn't a complete failure.

"Thanks, Kurama." Naruto whispered, because if he was really meant to have such bad control, then the fox was right, he needed to practice it. A small smile graced his lips as he continued on to the streets of Konoha, stomach growling along the way.

"Oy kid, what'cha doin' out 'ere all 'lone. Ya 'ungry?" A man selling fried fish called out from his stall across the street. Naruto stiffened considerably, immediately on guard as if the man would do something to harm him. After seeing who it was, he walked over cautiously, looking up into the man's eyes.

"Don't scare him off, Hiro." A woman appeared from the fryer, looking at him with a kind smile and no sign of hatred in her eyes. "What's your name, kid? Are you lost?"

Deciding that since the villagers bared no visible hatred to him now, he would give them a chance, he looked around frantically before he replied to her.

"My name is, um, my name is-"