Fill in the Gaps

I Needed That

NATE

Amelia was a great girl but Sophie was it for me, or so I thought before she discarded me like old clothes. She is still it for me, only our time isn't right now.

Now I now what you must me thinking, how selfish it is of me to lead Amelia on. I hate myself for that and I always try and keep a safe distance so as to sto thngs from getting too serious.

I needed Amelia, after Sophie and I ended miserable would be a gross understatement of the state I was in. Everyday was a task, then Amelia happened and everything was a littl brighter,

She looked a me with the admiration everyone wants to looked at with. She thought I was a superhero who is going to save the world. I needed that, I needed Amelia.

Yes yes I am a jackass. I think Amelia knows this too. But she stays, maybe she saw the state I was in before her and took pity on me.

As much as I hated being pitied, I would take this. I would take Amelia's pity over the unbearable silence anyday.

Do not get me wrong, I treat Amelia like a queen. Like how every lady should be treated. We have dates, movie nights, takeouts, inside jokes everything a normal couple would have. Besides the feelings.

I sometimes think abut why would she stay with me if she knows that I am in love with someone else. But who am I to judge, I have my reasons to be with Amelia. She has hers.

Wowww! Daydreaming through class, maybe that could be a career option. Matt all but invaded my personal bubble.

Oh piss off!.

Someone is mad, finally catching up to the fact that this is unfair to Ameila?

You know I would never cheat on her, how is this unfair.

Emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating. Kade wieghed in.

We are doing just great guys.Today is date night so just drop it. It is peaches.

Peaches!?

Peachy just doesn't sound right tome so I am going with peachy, capisch?

CAPISCH PEACHES!

AMELIA

Today is date night, Nate and I have designated nights where we go out together and do random stuff. Be it laser tag, paint ball, bowling, pool.
Just random hangouts.
I love them, honestly I can only survive this-"my boyfriend is in love with someone else" because of these date nights but that is what they always are hangouts

We spend time together like best friends, there is nothing couple-y about our dates.

I know, everyone thinks that I deserve a couple-y date and I should let Nate go.
I think you are right but in my case, I have been in love with the way Nate is with others how he treats his peers, juniors, best friends, family.

Also about the idea of him being in love with me, him actually wanting to be with me rather than playing the good boyfriend part.
I have often imagined what it would be like if we were a normal couple and trust me it is beautiful.

So yes I am in love with the idea of Nate, with the scenarios I have built up in my mind.
For the longest time I have thought it would be enough, being with the imaginary Nate.

But after every date night I am left wondering if I am just fooling myself.