Introverted Hearts // Josh Dun

chapter twenty one :: cj's turn

Her words and soft fingertips lulled Josh to sleep.

***

"What if the same thing happens?" Tyler was talking to Josh before their set. They were backstage, waiting for their queue.

"It won't," Tyler shook his best friend's shoulders. "I promise you."

"I wish CJ was here," Josh took a deep breath. "She was really good last night with calming me down."

"I'm equally as good at that, but.." Tyler had to add before he told him the surprise. "Turn around."

Josh turned around, his face lighting up when he saw CJ behind him.

"J," Josh pulled her into a tight hug, a broad smile on his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you," CJ told him. "And be here in case something happens again."

"Where did you get the sweatshirt?" Josh examines her black sweatshirt with their logo printed into it.

"Your closet." CJ laughed.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked, quietly and more serious than he previously was.

"Um," CJ glanced around before speaking. "There's a lot of people here a-and it's gonna get loud soon and Jenna is here too. I'm slowly started to hyperventilate but-"

"I'm sorry," Josh told her. "I shouldn't have pressure you-"

"Don't apologize," CJ replied. "I wanna be here. I took my meds before I left and I even have some with me. I brought my phone but not my earbuds because I wanna hear you, no matter how nervous."

"There's a few parts where the lights go dark," Josh mentioned. "Will you be okay for them?"

"Look," CJ held her wrists out for him. "I got some glow sticks too."

Josh found his girlfriend exquisitely adorable. He knew how much courage she had to build up to get herself out there for him, and he would be forever grateful for that. So, he pulled her into another tight hug.

"How did you even get here? Did you walk from the apartment?" Josh questioned.

"Um," CJ shook her head. "No. I wanted to talk to you about that-"

"What is it?" He held her hands in his.

"After the show we can talk," CJ told him. "Just focus on that for now, okay?"

"Mhm." Josh nodded. "I'm just so happy you're here."

The boys were signaled by a stage manager.

"Okay, I gotta go now," Josh told her. "I'll be right on the stage and if you need anything, just wave at me. You can watch me the whole time from right there, okay?"

"Mhm." CJ nodded before they shared a sweet kiss, then Josh was swept away by the stage managers.

During the set, Josh often looked over and offered CJ an encouraging nod, especially after the lights flashed and the room was dark for a few seconds.

He noticed that for the duration of a song, she was not there. However, she returned, her eyes red and puffy and hands fidgeting. 

"You did so well!" CJ hugged a sweaty Josh when their set finally ended.

"Thanks." Josh hugged her tight, giving her a forehead kiss. "Were you okay?"

"Yeah," CJ sniffled. "I'm fine."

"Let's get home, okay?" Josh knew that she was lying, so he wanted her into comfort of his bed together as quick as possible.

On their way out, Jenna said a quiet "bye" to CJ, to which she replied with a small, grateful nod.