A Sense Of Healing

a different shade of red

You were a different shade of red

To the blood on the kitchen floor

A different shade of red 

To the satin sheets smothering our fiery hearts

You were deeper and darker

And so much more unruly

Than anything underneath the dying stars

Something that made me grin

Made me shiver

Made me yearn

You were a different shade of red

To the way your words floated before my lips

To the way your eyes glistened in the moonlight

The way you smiled at my soft looks

At my gentle gestures

At the way my hands flurried towards you

And the red grew lighter 

A different shade of red

A rose growing amongst the veins

Until it could not grow anymore

Excitement turned to soft happiness,

Soft, soft happiness-

To fear

To hurt

To the unknowing

There was carnage in your eyes, fangs in your mouth

And I knew I had fallen in love

With an animal

You, who turned my joy to wretched rooms

And crowding hallways

You were a new shade of red

Like fine wine, flooding my mind with the allure

Of good decisions

Of bad mistakes

Like the hollow poison that cracked my lungs

The silences that clogged my senses

The emptiness that stopped up my breath 

That ruined my every intention

Of seeing anything but the red

You were the different shade of red 

That I saw in everything

My sister's rosy lipstick

The glowing flowers across the street

The glass of drink sitting full on the counter

You were everywhere and nowhere

You were the chains that cut into me

That sought out and dragged out the red in me

You were my new creation

My old destruction

And I fell

So

So

Hard

Until the red turned black

And I didn't see you anymore

You were gone

And red?

Red returned to plain old red.

And the rose in my heart bloomed

No longer needing you

No longer wanting you 

And red returned,

To red.

[mistakes in red shirts and dark eyes] p.t