Chapter 30

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Nicki Minaj POV

I am so full of anger, confusion, pain, and they only person I know who is right for the job is my mother. To help me think like I usually think, like onna right page, and she's the one. So I call my mama up so she can come by and talk to her baby girl, me.

Since I know it'll be a minute until she get her, I start on my mini workout, y'know. A girl gotta keep her figure or it drops from a ten to Lil Kim (pun intended if you know about there beef), and I refuse to let that happen.

I bend over, my big ass is flat up inna air, spreadin' my legs apart, my hands touchin' the floor. A lil' uncomfortale tho' I ain't lyin' either tho', but, I'm feelin' the burn. My door bell goes off and I get myself up, wipin' the sweat from off my forehead. I go over to answer the door. It's my mama.

"Mama," givin' her a big hug. Seein' her big smile warms up my heart.

"You came." I smile.

"Of course I'd come for my baby. I knew somethin' was wrong, so I had to come to see if you're okay." Mama said.

"Wow! But you got here fast tho'? Were you already plannin' ahead...." Mama cuts me off.

"Oh hush no baby, and let mama come in already." Mama said, I mive outta way so she can come inside. Mama takes off her brown fur coat as she walks inna house like a boss. A diva.

"Mama," I call her out, rethinkin' 'bout her dress code.

"Ain't it 'bout 99° degrees out there?! Why you wearin' a fur coat?"

Mama shrugs and grins, "Don't hate the playa, hate the game."

I giggle at her response, "No mama, I'm just not tryna see you die of heat stroke." I said and she mugs me off.

"Anyway, why did you want mama to come all the way out here?" Mama asks.

I pretend to play dumb and surprise, "Mama, I can't just invite you out here unless I need you fo' somethin? "

Mama just stares at me, "Mama ain't say all that she just ask why you wanted me to come out here. And majority of the time; you do need mama's advice." She knows me so well.

I go over to the couch and sit down wit' my head hangin' low to avoid my mama's eye contact. Listenin' to her footsteps, and seein' the shadow of her onna floor, she sits beside me. She cups my chin as she lifts my head up, lookin' me deep in my eyes; she knows what's good.

My mama takes a deep breath before she speaks to me. "Baby, you look stressed out. It's not good to have stress at your age."

"I know mama, but it's just a lot on me right now...".Mama cuts me off.

"And to me it ain't got nothin' to do with work now does it?" Mama caught onto me real fast. This why I need my mama.

"No," shaking my head as I say quietly.

"It's that Safaree guy, huh?" Mama asks me, continuin' to speak.

"I ain't never like that boy." She spat out.

"Mama, mama, it ain't Safaree. I'm just confused mama. The other day he proposed..." Mama cuts me off again.

"Hol' up! He proposed?!" Mama says, shock.

"Yeah," I pause.

"And what you say Onika?" Mama asks me. Yeah, my mama never calls me Nicki, well, occasionally.

"I told him no." Mama seem so relief when I said, no.  

"Good! Good. Whew!" Mama breathes again. Yeah, she don't like Safaree in any shape or form. I ain't never knew why tho'.

"Mama, I really need your advice. I am so confused." I tell my mama.

"Why are you so confused Onika? Tell me." Mama said.

"A while ago, like ages ago, me and Safaree got into a heated argument." I pause 'cause mama breathes heavily.

"What about?" Mama asks.

"It started out 'cause I got into an altercation wit' this girl when Safaree just let it happen, y'know." I said, feelin' like shit.

"Punk ass nigga." Mama said in anger.

"Got my baby fightin' and ain't gonna hold her down."

"Yeah, so that's what the argument was about. But then, he just up and left me and I was alone and miserabe." I said.

"Did he ever come back?" Mama ask.

"Yeah he did, but, while he was away... I had somebody keepin' me comfort." I confess.

Mama gasps at me while her eyes widen. "So you got a new D pal?"

I look square at my my mama and think to myself, did she really just say that . "Mama?!"

"What Onika? You thirty- one years old now. Not thirteen. " I laugh her off.

"Well, yeah, pretty much." I munmer.

"And we been messin' around until last night we got into it. I told him how I felt about Safaree, and that I didn't wanna be wit' him or mess wit' him no more." I confess.

"Onika," my mama sighs.

"If you are so in love with Safaree, then why didn't you say yes? Why are you so confused?" Mama asks.

"'Cause for one, I was told that Safaree had been cheatin', but I don't believe it." I said feelin' even more like shit.

"What's your second reason?" Mama asks me.

"My second reason is because..." I pause, takin' a deep breath before I tell mama.

"Because what?" Mama asks me.

"Because I'm in love wit' August too."

Whoooooooooooooa did you expect that?

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