Her Unreasonable Love (Completed)

chapter 15 - Truth or truth

Even though I tried to loose weight, it only got worse as I started feeling more miserable about myself for not being able to workout for a few minutes without getting out of breath. In fact I had joined a gym when I was 16, but the way those super fit women looked at me with disgust on the first day, embarrassed me more and I quit right away. It was much later that I realized that I was trying to loose weight for the wrong reasons and that's why I wasn't able to do it. Also I started appreciating myself the way I was and it made me stronger than ever.

It felt like déjà vu, one of my bullies had asked me a similar question and at that moment I just cried and ran away as I was weak back then. I was a much stronger person and I wouldn't run away. I gathered all my courage and answered.

"Because weight is just a number and it doesn't define who I am. God has made everyone different and we need to accept that", I said sounding surprisingly bold and confident. It sounded cliché but he didn't oppose or comment in it so it did count as a reasonable answer.

Maybe it was an adrenaline rush; but whatever it was, went down too quickly when I noticed Ayaan clench his jaw. He shut his eyes tight and after a few seconds unclenched it and slowly opened his eyes. I thought I was in big trouble but surprisingly he was as calm as the sea. Did he just meditate? Whatever it was, I'm glad he did it as it saved me.

I didn't want to invite further questions and before he could say anything, I said, " My turn. Why is weight such a big concern to you?". This seemed like the only time where I could ask him all these questions that puzzled me and the only time where he would answer.

He thought for a while again before answering, it seemed like he was trying to choose his words right and it was good. I didn't want my questions to backfire, but then it did when he answered.

"I don't want to look ugly and be a burden on Earth. And I expect the same from you."

I was extremely hurt with his words, he was clearly insulting me and that wasn't right. At that very moment I felt extremely vulnerable and I didn't want him to know that. The tremble in my voice would throw it away so I chose to remain silent.

He observed me carefully and smirked. He sighed and continued, "I don't get how people have no self control. How they turn to food and not to God. They aren't even ashamed of the way they look and have the audacity to appear in public."

Do not react Safa. He is a sick person and you don't have to give him any explanation.

I kept repeating it to myself but it wasn't working. He had no right to say that about me or any other human being. It's none of his business. And who gave him the authority to say who should and shouldn't appear in public. Who did he think he was? And was he trying to get a reaction from me?

"You know it's also very disgusting how people choose to walk around half naked having dents over their waist and fancy calling them abs. Instead of eating food that God created, choosing to modify it into fat free and sugar free. It's clearly shouts how ungrateful they are and trying to show that God didn't do a pretty job with the food He provided for us", I looked at him with puppy eyes trying to look innocent when clearly I had taken him down and I had never felt more proud of myself. It was the first time I enjoyed the silence between us and it clearly screamed 'Safa won'.

"Very well then", he paused again and I was loving every bit of it. "My turn. Are you still in love with Rayan?"

I looked at him in shock. How did he know about him? It was three years ago and I hadn't been in touch with him since. Come to think of it, how did he know that I was overweight all my life when I haven't spoken about it to him nor has he seen any of my childhood pictures.

I started playing with my fingers, something I always did to calm myself down when nervous. I could feel the tension raise, even though Ayaan was calm and composed. I did not want to answer that question or anything related to my past, but I couldn't afford to loose either. I had to be very cautious about every single word I said, I had already triggered a little rage but this time he might not be able to compose himself.

"How do you know about him?"

"That's not an answer"

I wanted to know but asking again may not end well. I had no choice but to answer his question, " No, I'm not. I wouldn't had married you if I was."

"Maybe you did it for your parents. Just like how you left him because of the fear of not being accepted by them. Right?"

"You asked three questions and I answered them all. It's my turn now", I said. In return he just smirked. I wish I could know what was going on in his mind, he was very mysterious and clearly knew a lot more about me than I had thought.

That was a close one, I was glad that he asked me that question last. I would rather prefer him not asking it. I thought for a moment before asking my last question. I wanted him to loose so that I could finally get a little freedom. For as much as I'd learnt about him in the past couple of days, he hasn't opened up to me about himself and probably he won't do it now, especially after the question he just asked.

"How do you know so much about my past?"

"I've got my sources."

"That's not an acceptable answer. You clearly said that the answers need to be honest."

"You're attentive."

"Thank you. So the answer please?"

"I'm not answering that question", he said like he didn't care. He knew that he would loose but yet it didn't seem to matter to him. Ofcourse, there was nothing that he would win.

"So you loose?", I said with a smile.

"No. I let you win."

What exactly did that mean? I wanted to know what else he knew about me and how did he get to know about me. Doing research about the person and family before you get married wasn't wrong but to the extent where he knew the details of events that took place years ago, it wasn't something to let go.

But at that moment, I didn't give it much heed. All that mattered was that I won and I had to think about my prize. My deserved wishes.

__________

Hello my lovely readers 🥰,

I hope your enjoying the story. Thank you for checking out my story and sticking to it up until now.
I wanted to address the issue of body shaming. It not only happens with overweight but underweight people too. There's always someone who will criticize you. It's either your height or complexion. The shape of your face or your waist. No matter what, we are not good enough to at least one person and that one person doesn't matter. There are people who love you and they are the ones that matter. Don't let negativity consume you. You are so much more than just looks.

Much love ❤️ ❤️❤️