temper - grayson dolan

fifteen

i pulled up out front of my house, almost sending declan's car through the garage door when i saw my mother's car parked on the curb.

"shit." i muttered under my breath, resting my head on the steering wheel and groaning. after composing myself, i jumped out of the car and locked it, walking to the front door and grabbing the handle.

before i could even twist it, the door flew open and pulled me forwards with it. i looked up at the culprit and winced.

declan.

his jaw was clenched and he stood tall while his grip around the door handle tightened, i waved awkwardly and he huffed, shoving me out of the doorway and slamming the door before disappearing upstairs.

i sighed and rubbed my temples, i don't understand him sometimes, the sound of cutlery clashing drew my attention to the dining room, i looked over to see austin sitting at the table completely zoned out and enjoying his spaghetti.

"hey little dude!"  i sang, he immediately turned his head and grinned with a mouthful of food.

"hey lola!" he waved with his fork in his hand.

"how was granny?" i asked, flicking off my shoes and placing them in the shoe rack.

"good! she made me brownies!" he spoke, twisting his fork in his spaghetti, i giggled at his answer.

"lola! kitchen please!" my mother called, i straight away knew i was in trouble, why wouldn't i be?

i shuffled into the kitchen and poked my head around the corner to see my mother placing something into the oven, she turned and noticed me staring at her like a creep, she placed one hand on her hip and signaled me to sit down on one of the bar stools.

i did what i was told and waited awkwardly for her to begin her lecture.

"i was gone for 5 hours lola, why couldn't you just stay still?" she begged, resting herself on the bench.

"mama, i'm a teenage girl, i can take care of myself!" i whined.

"yes, i know that baby... but." she stopped herself and sighed as she picked a loose thread on her sweater, i felt a pit in my stomach when i realized what she was going to say.

"mom, you can't be worried about me anymore, i've moved on, why can't you?" i hissed, rubbing my temples.

"i've moved on lola... it's declan who hasn't." i scoffed at her words.

"as if, he doesn't care, he's pissed i took his car, he's sick of driving me around, he wants me to buy a car for myself." i crossed my arms and stuck out my bottom lip like a child.

"lola." she pulled her phone from her back pocket and fiddled with it before shoving it in my face. on the screen was a white jeep, it was cool as shit.

"i was going to buy you this, declan told me not to." she spat, turning her phone off and dropping it on the bench.

"w-why would he do that?" i asked, clueless.

"he's worried what happened will happen again, he cares about you lola, too much."

i felt at a loss for words, it all makes sense. why he would never let me drive his car even with him in it, why he wouldn't let my friends drive me to parties, he always had to do it.

"talk to him lola, he struggles, he really does." she placed her warm hand on my cold one, i looked at my mother in the eyes and she sighed.

"he needs to hear it from you that you are okay." she muttered, as if she was about to cry. i pulled my hand away and stood up from the seat, simply nodding and disappearing upstairs.

i walked down the dim lit hallway, my hand running along the pale gray wall to find the light switch, the only light was the light creeping from underneath declan's door. i flicked the switch and make my way to declan's bedroom door. a faint squeak of his bed signaled he sat himself down on it, i brought my hand up to the door and knocked.

"come in." he spat. i took a deep breath and opened the door, shutting it once i was in, he simply sat up and looked at me for a few short seconds, anger was the only emotion i could read from him, i swallowed my nerves and sat myself down on the bed beside him.

i didn't know where to start.

"i'm glad you're okay." he whispered, although i could barely hear him, he stared at the carpet beneath his feet. i rested my head on his shoulder and we sat in silence for a moment.

"why didn't you let mom buy me a new car?" i felt his breathing hitch when i asked him the simple question. he was at a loss for words, he had been caught.

he had several attempts at beginning his sentence, i'm guessing none of them were good enough in his brain by the way he stuttered, he stopped, closed his eyes and took a deep breath in then out, before restarting.

"my father was my best friend since i was little, when i found out he cheated on mom and you got into that crash the same day, i feared i would loose my two favorite people in this whole world at the same time." it felt as if my breathing stopped completely, i looked at declan who's eyes were filling with tears.

"when i look at dad, i feel nothing but sadness and anger, i lost my real dad. the dad that cared and loved my mother, the dad who cared and loved us kids, the dad who would do anything for his family." his voice cracked as he dropped his head into his hands.

"fuck lola, i can't loose you." his pale blue eyes looked at me with such sadness, i just broke.

declan is my best friend and sometimes, he's been my only friend. i honestly don't know where i would be without him, i knew he cared about me, but not this much. he's never really spoken about our father, he knows i hate him with a passion but declan worshipped our dad when he was younger, i could tell it hurt him when he found out he cheated. he wanted to forgive him, but he just can't.

i wrapped my arms around his body and hugged him tight.

"you don't have to worry about losing me." i whispered in his ear and he sobbed quietly.

"i'm sorry lola, i'm so sorry i held you back." i gently rubbed his back, holding him tight and practically begging for him to stop crying, declan never cries. if he does, you know he's really broke.

he sat up and wiped under his eyes.

"wanna go get something to eat?" he said at random, i rose and eyebrow.

"but mom cooked dinner?" i reminded him, pointing downstairs.

"i'm not in the mood for spaghetti." he whispered, i let out a small laugh and shook my head.

"fine." i shrugged, he stood up and grabbed his keys from his bedside table, heading to the door.

"hey declan."

"yeah?"

"can i drive?"

he sent me a serious look before he dropped his head and threw me the keys, a smile grew across my face as i caught them, i got up and hugged him tight.

"let's go!"

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thank you, i can't believe it!

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