Why the Straight One? | Book 1 | bxb

Entry 31 - "Are You Blackmailing Me?"

"Well, actually, he kissed—wait! Why am I explaining this to you? You are a child. Why were you listening anyways?"

"Because you never said not to, and you talk really loud. And you move around a lot, like this."

He stood up and began pacing the room, his short legs struggling to keep up as he tried to imitate my strides. I had to admit, when he ran a hand through his hair, he came pretty close to imitating me almost every time I was on the phone.

"Well, it's rude to listen to other people's conversations."

"Well, it's rude to talk so loud that you make me want to plug my ears." His hands were now on his hips, and he was looking up at me defiantly. This kid was going to give as good as he got, and I wasn't sure if I could win this argument.

"But why did you kiss my uncle?" I thought maybe we'd moved past this subject, but he wasn't letting me off that easy.

"I didn't!"

"Mom said not to lie." He looked disappointed in me, and I'm not gonna lie, it felt bad that I let a kid down.

"I'm not."

"But you changed your story from what you said on the phone. So, you're lying, and you don't get dessert if you lie."

"How old are you anyways?"

"I'm almost four." He puffed out his chest proudly.

"Then I'm not going to explain this to you. You wouldn't understand."

"I'm not a baby, uncle Alex." Could've fooled me. The kid was tiny.

"Well, I'm not going to reason with you."

"Fine, then I'll tell Uncle Thomas."

"What the hell? Are you blackmailing me?"

He shook his head at me, the look of disappointment he shot me was almost scary. I wasn't qualified for a discussion with a three year old. No one told me they would be this good at making you feel bad.

"Uncle Alex, you really are gonna get in trouble if you keep talking like that. Mom said not to say hell."

"You just said it." His self righteous pose faltered for a second, but he had an answer ready in an instant.

"Because I'm trying to help you not say bad things. Now you know not to say it."

"I'm 21. I don't have to listen to your mom." Seriously, I was talking like a child. This kid was a really bad influence on me.

"Everyone has to listen to my mom. She's in charge."

"She's not the boss of me." He raised his eyebrows, and I began to doubt myself.

Pull yourself together, Alex! This kid is three!

"Look, if you're going to keep threatening me, why don't we at least sit down."

"Okay." He grinned, and I swear he was enjoying this way to much.

So we sat in the couch, but I definitely didn't let him sit on my lap. He was trying to blackmail me. And how he knew that telling Thomas was the way to go was beyond me. I was never this smart at three.

"What do you want from me?" I asked after he continued to smile at me.

"Me?" He looked surprised.