letters | h. renjun; wang yiren ✓

「 FOUR 」

dear renjun,

today a bunch of your fangirls approached me and shouted at me for being a bitch and being friends with you. they shoved me against the rough wall and slapped me in the face, making tears burn in my eyes.

this was precisely another reason why i had to stay away from you, because of all the hate.

they threatened to me to stay away from you, or else they would come after me again. i just nodded my head meekly, before running to washroom to clean myself up.

i didn't want you to see the pathetic me in this state.

i looked at myself in the mirror, seeing my stringy strawberry blonde hair hanging in my eyes and my flushed face. i looked like crap, compared to all those pretty and rich girls hanging around you all day.

as tears rolled down my cheeks, i splashed my face with water, thinking if i could go a day without talking to you.

i could hear the loud chatter of other girls passing by the washroom outside, and i all i heard were insults.

about me.

"what a whore, hanging around renjunnie, does she think just because he's willing to be friends with a lowly person like her, she could do as she pleases with him? please," i still remembered their words vividly.

it was as if a sword had been stuck through my heart and i cried even harder.

was it worth all the embarrassment and hate and insults for liking you, being friends with you?

i don't know anymore.

when i was young, my sister used to tell me about her first love, and i was amazed about how, like a fairy-tale, the two of them were still dating, till now, for five years straight.

i was naive, and i actually believed if i had a first love, i could date him forever too.

apparently not.

after tidying myself, i was determined to not be friends with you anymore.

but my resolve crumbled when i caught you at our usual table, waiting for me with a tray of burgers, my favourite, sending me a grin.

i sat down, and you reached for my hand for a squeeze, but i tensed up and flinched away.

just one more day of being friends with you, and then maybe i'd end our relationship, hopefully stopping my crush on you.

from,
yiren.

— ♥ —