mine

1

Lola

I'm known as "the most popular girl in school". I'm captain of the cheer team, I run numerous school clubs, I'm last years prom queen and homecoming queen. You could say Junior year is "my year". I have a whole fleet of friends, the hottest boyfriend in the entire school who is the head of football at Grove High, and I have about 10 other guys begging for my number.
Just to add to all of that, I have long, silky blonde hair. And ocean blue eyes. My skin is soft and pale, I don't think I've ever had acne or blemishes, except maybe the patch of freckles that scatter across my nose. I have long legs, a very tiny waist, and a small nose. I'm the poster girl for society's "ideal" body. All my life I have been praised on my beauty. My mom had me in pageants at a very young age and throughout most of middle school as well. I'm on track to becoming Miss America. I get straight A's and I'm a teachers pet. I'm not proud of that but I have filthy rich parents so you could imagine where they stand at the PTA. I've gotten everything I've ever wanted. Clothes, shoes, a car, makeup, the newest phone, pedicures, blah blah blah the list goes on and on and on. I even have a picture perfect family. Just my parents, me, and my older sister Rose.
So you've heard me brag about how "great" my life looks. But do you want to hear what it's actually like?
My parents are on the verge of getting a divorce, my boyfriend abuses me, I have crippling anxiety and depression, I use teeth whitener (....), my mom has me on a strict diet, if I weigh more than 105 she makes me skip meals, I've cheated on many tests, and my best friend smokes.
So no, I'm not a happy go lucky ray of sunshine.
I'm broken
I'm hurt
I'm dying inside
But nobody sees that. All they see is me. The exterior of my shell. My pretty eyes, my small frame. They see how perfect I am and how genuine I seem. But I'm a fake. I'm fake to my boyfriend, my parents, my teachers, everybody except my best friend Evie.
Nobody sees how hurt I am on the inside. Because everybody's fake to me. But I want something real. In 10 years when I'm happily married and have a kid or two, is it going to matter that I was prom queen? Is it going to matter that I weighed in 106 one day? Is it going to matter that I failed a test?
Society is cruel. They tell me I'm perfect being who I am, but not the way that I am. I have to hide my flaws and be fake and cover up who I really am so people will love me and accept me.
All I've ever wanted was the real thing. Real comments, real honest talks. Real me. Real friends. Real parents who love you for your heart not your looks.
I want real love.
I don't think I've ever even felt it or seen it. I know my parents love me but...they don't know who I really am. So do they really love me? Or do they love my shell?