under this cherry blossom

悲しみ

"Fusako, why did you come back here again? Won't you get in trouble?", I heard the voice of my favourite person and looked up to see her standing in front of me, staring down at me with her beautiful ice blue eyes. Nothing could ever make me happier than the sight of her in her noble light bluedress and her hair open, running towards me after I had had a long day at the palace.
She had always been a sight for sore eyes when she showed me her perfect smile that could instantly wipe any type of sorrow off my face.
"Oh Hitomi, I've missed you somuch. Father forbid me to come visit you!", I confessed in a shaky voice as I reached out with one of my hands. She immediately kneeled down onto the grass and held my hand between hers.
"Do not shed tears, love",she whispered and kissed the tip of my fingers softly.
"You are far too precious to have to feel pain."
I nodded and blinked away the water welling up in my eyes.
I had missed her touch.
Her perfectskin.
Though she was in no way of royalty she had the body of agoddess. Her deep black hair clipped up into a messy bun and the porcelain skin made her look like the moon and stars. My night sky.
She moved to sit down next to me, leaning her back against the trunk of an old sakura tree.
It was in full bloom and the earth was starting to have a few pink and white patches among the dark green of the big field, far away from civilisation.
We were only kids when we first found this lonely tree on the hill and it quickly became our favourite place to spend our time together. Hitomi would pick me up and let me ride her snow white horse so I wouldn't have to walk so far. She said she wanted me to rest my feet so I could enjoy my surroundings.
When we then turned older and developed a deep bond far more precious than any kind of friendship, this was the place we were free to display our feelings openly without dealing with backlashes and consequences.
Often father had told me not to get too close to her, but how couldn't I?
I was so deeply in love. Getting drunk from her touch and scent.
She always smelled like fresh spring grass, even though she had to work most of the day.
And she was so gorgeous. No signs of ageing ever appeared on her face throughout our teenage years and to me she was perfect. Though she had her flaws, I didn't care.
She used to lash out and get into trouble.
Anger was boiling in her veins daily, it was a part of her that she tried to suppress so much, but she couldn't. She had to let it out somewhere. That's what I told her sometimes when she got too stressed. She would get mad and we would end up fighting because I wanted the best for her.
Twice we didn't see each other for days on end because of our strong opinions.
But once we embraced each other again, it was all forgotten.
It seemed to me that no matter what kind of conflict we would have or be in, nothing could ever rip us away from each other. We were destined to be together.
Forever.
When we had reached the age of maturity, father wanted to marry me to a rich noble man, just a few years older than me. He seemed like a really decent guy, but I just couldn't bare the thought of having to spend the rest of my life with a person I didn't even love. It was wrong and I knew it.
So I fought against it.
I talked with my father, confessed my feelings for Hitomi, whom he'd considered to be my childhood friend, and told him that I couldn't love anyone but her. At first I thought, he was okay with it. He was very quiet and appeared to be indeep thought.
I was nervous.
I didn't want this too go wrong, oh god, the emotions I felt in those few minutes were horrible.
The silence tortured me.
When I was convinced he would never reply to me, I got up to leave, but then he spoke:
"Never see that girl again! I can't have any of my children become a disgrace to this family! It would tarnish our name forever! I forbid you to see herever again!"
I had never in my life cried as much asthat night. All my hope was lost. I was empty.
I stayed in my room for days, seldom even joining my family for dinner. I couldn't look my father in the face. I knew I would scream at him. I was furious for the first time in my life and in that moment I understood how Hitomi found it hard to follow rules. She wasn't built for a society like this. She was born to rebel and stand against anything that she thought to be wrong.
And I felt it, too.
I wanted to rebel.
I wanted to go against my father.
Make him suffer for his choice.
So I did.
A few days after that confession, I snuck out of the palace and to Hitomi's house.
It wasn't hard. Only 5 guards were placed at the entrances and I climbed through a window far away from them. I noted to myself that I would have to tell father one day that the security wasn't very stable at all.
Her house was quite comfortable. Kind of small, but very cosy.
I had knocked on the window of her bedroom, which I knew where it was because she had often described her house to me in case something happened and I needed to reach her, and I had never been kissed by her harder than in that moment when she opened it.
"You came!", she whispered in disbelief "I thought I had seen the last of you! What happened?"
"I told father", I replied, tears threatening to fall. She took me into her arms to comfort me while I cried and told her about what happened.
After that we decided to run away where they couldn't reach us. Couldn't hate us.
We travelled north right the next day when we had everything packed and were disguised. It was a long journey and winter was closing in fast on us. So we had to reach a town or city soon, or else we would possibly die.
We reached a city and then-

Then...

"Hitomi?", I croaked, hot tears streaming down my face before I could even react.
"What is it, love?", she answered and I felt her hand squeezing mine as she looked into my eyes.
She lifted her second hand to wipe thetears off my face, her touch ever so gentle.
I sniffed and choked on my words as more tears poured out.
It just didn't stop.
"Shh, it's okay, I'm here."
I buried my head in my hands as my sobs shook my body violently. I heard shifting noises before I felt her strong arms wrap around me to engulf me in a tight hug. She placed her head on mine and started singing. Her words seeming faint and distant to me. As if I couldn't hear properly.

さくらさくら

やよいの空は

見わたす限り

かすみか雲か

匂いぞ出ずる

いざやいざや

見にゆかん

さくらさくら

野山も里も

見わたす限り

かすみか雲か

朝日ににおう

さくらさくら

花ざかり

When she finished I had calmed down already and was paying full attention to her voice, a bit raspy from time to time but absolutely flawless and beautiful. I slung my armsaround her.
"But are you?", I whispered in a hoarse voice as I lifted my head to look at her. She stroked my hair softly and moved a single strand behind my ear. Her eyes were locked with mine and a slightly melancholic expression plastered on her face as she smiled at me.
She didn't answer. I swallowed hard as I felt tears well up in my eyes again, quickly blinking them away before they would break out again.
"Are you here?", I asked her, this time slightly louder than last. The thought was becoming unbearable. Again, Hitomi stayed silent and smiled at me.
A light wind rushed past us and the trees branches shook slightly, making some petals slowly travel to the floor to make it colourful.
Just as I was about to scream out of frustration, she pressed her hand against my chest.
"I will always be with you",she replied in a hushed voice, the smile not leaving her face, though it did not give me one.
"In your heart."
Then she leaned close to me and took my hands into her own.
"Close your eyes now, Fusako", she whispered, squeezing my hands gently. I obliged.
I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces as her lips pressed upon mine, warm, yet cold and bittersweet, and suddenly I felt emptiness.
I could no longer feel her embrace, her presence, her love.
Only pain.
The truth pained me as I slowly opened my eyes again. I was alone under the cherry blossom.
Hitomi was not there anymore. I weeped in silence as the reality hit me, the breeze blowing by ever so softly. My body trembled, trying to contain my devastation, but it couldn't.
I cried out in agony. A piercing screan that expressed just how much I had lost.
How heartbroken I was.

We reached the city in time.

We had done it.

But we were caught.

And Hitomi had to pay for my fathers wrath with her life.