All Or NOTHING

Chapter Six

Autumn POV

I woke up to the smell of breakfast. Last night was really rough for me I could barely sleep thinking about the look on Derrick's face when I told him. I feel so bad because I kept his child away from him but at the same time I had to get myself together & that was what was best at the time. I know have to fix this though but I just don't know how. I got up put on my robe and went downstairs.
"mommy, mommmmy," Kimmy came running to me. I swooped my bbygirl up in my arms & she gave me a kiss on the forehead. "good morning baby" I said squeezing her tight. I was so caught up with Kimberlyn I didn't see Derrick sitting at the table. Looking at me, I felt like a little girl again under his gaze. And even though I had on shorts underneath I quickly regret putting on my old robe because it was a little short and my thighs were showing & I know he was taking in my body. We just stared at eachother but was snapped out of our little staring contest by my dad. He cleared his throat and motioned for me to sit down. Kimmy had already ran to sit by my dad & I had to take the seat next to Derrick. I took my seat and after we bowed for prayer I didn't hesitate to fix my plate. My mom cooked waffles eggs , bacon, sausage , & cheese grits. I could feel Derricls eyes on me & I felt so uncomfortable and nervous. I'm glad my mom started conversation . "so baby, how was new York? " my mom asked to break the silence. 
"It was what I needed, my career is better than ever & I learned how to be independent . "
"well that's good baby ."
I

gave my mom a smile, then looked over at Derrick then at Kimmy. She looked like her daddy and had his attitude to. I feel bad for keeping him away from her for all this time but ik I had to make it right starting now.  " Mom. Dad.  Can you excuse me & Derrick while we have a conversation upstairs? " My mom gave me soft look and said, "of course baby ."
My dad didn't say anything he was too busy playing with Kimmy.  I swear she act just like him.  Derrick gave me a look that let me know he was thinking about whether he should have this conversation right.  I stared at him impatiently because honestly I just want to get this over with , I don't want to fight I just want to have an adult c9nversation . My mom gave me look before Derrick got upland we proceeded upstairs.  When we got to my room I closed the door and Derrick sat on the bed.  I decided to just stand up cause being next to him only going to make me nervous. I didn't notice I zoned out until Derrick cleared his throat.  I looked up at him and said, " I'm sorry ... I kept your child from you for so long but I just didn't know how to tell you.  And when I left I didn't think I was coming back ever. I didn't think about how you would feel and that was very selfish of me.  I hope we can move past this for the sake of Kimmy.  "
   " I forgive you, but that shit really hurt me bruh,  you know growing up I ain't have a father figure in my life...  & I just felt like you took that chance away from me.  I missed years of my child's life.  Years that I can't get back but I'm here now and I promise you I'm gone be the best father I can be. "
  I looked at him and smiled, " ik you are,  I swear she act just like you and my daddy ."
   "you miss me? "
That question through me off guard but I didn't hesitate to say, " yeah, like crazy. " I said boring my lips.
" ight na Autumn,  stop biting yo damn lips girl. "
  " why should I ?" I said looking at him with hooded eyes.  It's been been a while since I've had sex and Derrick was looking like a walking orgasm right now.  But ik I had to control myself we are Co-Parents that's it nothing more nothing less... I Was thinking so hard I didn't see Derrick get up and stand in front of me. " whatchu thinking bout so hard? " He asked , his voice sent chills down my spine and the  little space between us isn't making the situation better.  I struggled to find my words,  " nothing,  I think we should go back downstairs now. " Derrick looked dissapointed but I knew if I stayed in that room with him any longer we would've been on baby number 2 . I quickly turned around to open the door and swiftly made an exit.  Derrick laughed behind me as he figures out I'm trying to get away from him.  When we got downstairs kimmy was watching TV on the couch and I picked her up and put her on my lap.  " Kimmy,  you see that big scary man right there? " she shook her head yeah while looking at Derrick.  " that's your daddy. " her eyes instantly lit up like a Christmas tree. She ran up to Derrick and hugged him and said, " yaaaaaaay I have a daddy. " Tears rolled down my face.  I was happy but sad because I kept them away from eachother for so long. Derrick embraced kimmy in a big hug and looked at here with the most admiration I
In the world.  Derrick laughed and said,  " yes babygirl you have daddy,  and your daddy plan on giving you the world. " She smiled really hard and then said,  " I don't want the world but I want lots of doll babies & I want you to stay with me & mommy ."
Me and Derrick looked at eachother before laughing and Derrick said, " daddy can't stay with mommy but daddy promise to come see you everyday. "
  Kimmy looked dissapointed  but said, " promise? "
As they locked pinky fingers Derrick said,  "promise ."