Observation Record of a Self-proclaimed Villainess' Fiance

Chapter 13 Bertia (17 Years Old)[2]

No.

This is not me.

My warmth... the [emotion] that I was able to gain... don't you dare snatch [Bertia] away from me.

Inside of the [instrument] me who had changed into a doll, the [real] me, who was locked up, clamoured insignificantly.

The [instrument] that was hiding my surrounding said that [it's weird to have that kind of emotion], trying to deny the emotion and will that the [real] me possessed.

It's agonizing. I feel nauseated.

However, with this doll's body, I couldn't even breathe, let alone cry.

Even if I had to destroy everything, I thought to break this instrument and leave this unpleasant world.

However, the calm part of myself whispered.

"If you leave this place with this chaotic state of mind, what are you going to do if your real self's state of mind is affected?"

"If things turn out like that, in the worst case, the [emotion] that you've finally able to gain... you might lose [Bertia] for real, you know?"

The moment I thought of that, I felt that the imaginary horror that this space gave couldn't be compared with the horror of that possibility.

That possibility is the one thing I absolutely could not accept.

"Your Highness Cecil!!"

The moment I thought that the scene changed once more as my surroundings were wrapped up in the light for the umpteenth time, the sweet voice of a woman barged into my ears.

A bright and a pure smile.

I felt the illusion that everything became brighter with her just being there.

Like light incessantly rained down only around her.

I was fascinated by it.

The warmth began to return in my chest once more.

The fingers that had reached out on their own began to return to those of a human's from that of the doll's.

However...

[This is wrong.]

[It's fake.]

The real me who was inside the doll complained with an unconcealed anger.

The one who was at the tip of my extended fingers was Baroness Heronia.

She isn't my precious fiancée.

My fiancée is...

[...Then, wouldn't it be fine to just change your fiancée?]

Wrong.

Wrong.

That's not it.

Despite knowing what the right answer was, there was a part of me that wanted to nod at the whispers made in my own voice.

This is a nightmare.

As long as the light spirit has used up all of its strength, I'd wake up from this dream and my rational thought would return.

However, this nightmare itself is way too unpleasant that it makes me want to cling to this immediate comfort in front of me.

Although that [comfort] is the opponent that forced this kind of asceticism onto me.

I bit my lips as I stared at Baroness Heronia who was smiling at me, and at myself gradually beginning to show a real human's expression instead of than the fake smiles I'd made.