Hiding in the Advice Column

25

Ryder sighed. "Don't fake smile."

"I'm not." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes." He added as he got closer to the bed.

More thunder and lightning hit, making me still, another scream being born in my throat, but I managed to suppress it. I didn't have my head phones with me to block out the noise.

Ryder pulled back the blankets and got in to bed with me.

"What are you doing?" I screeched at him, moving away.

"Helping you get to sleep. I might have been wrong about the storm. It might be going for a few more hours yet." Ryder laid down, laying on his side, facing me. "Lay down." He said soothingly.

After another moment of hesitation, I laid down, my back to Ryder. He didn't try and touch me, at first, he just laid there. After a few minutes, I was still tensed and I couldn't relax.

"Will you relax?" I heard Ryder mutter.

"I can't." I groaned out.

I felt his fingers on my back and I stilled. But after a few more minutes, I felt myself loosen up as Ryder's fingertips went up and down my back, lulling me to sleep.

****

The House was quiet as I did another load of washing. The weekend away was great. Ryder and Rowan spent a lot of time together while I did what I could on my assessment, watching them on the beach from my chair on the patio.

But now I'm back home, Rowan at school, Ryder left for another business trip, my life was going back to a normal boring Monday.

I had just finished speaking to Gabriel, her confirming she is coming back home to live and I felt extremely happy about that.

I also finished my rough draft on my assessment and I plan to type the final copy up soon.

After the weekend away, I felt bored now. I rarely went away for the weekend and my last holiday with Rowan was New York.

I have yet to tell Ryder about that. After much thought, I decided I am going to tell him, before I make up my mind officially. He is Rowan's father and he deserves to know.

After picking Rowan up from school and having a small play with him, I just finished dishing dinner up when there was a knock on the door.

Cautiously, I went to it, slowly opening it. "Luke!" I grinned. I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him. "This is a surprise."

Luke kissed me back before I pulled him inside. "I just started serving dinner. Would you like some?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go out for dinner." He admitted. "But if that's alright?"

I nodded as I ushered him in the dining room. "Luke, this is my son, Rowan." I officially introduced them. "Rowan, honey, this is Luke."

Luke sat in the chair next to Rowan and turned to him. "Hi, Rowan."

Rowan frowned, looking at Luke. "Hello." He looked at me with a frown.

"Be nice." I told my son as he went back to his dinner. I went and dished up another plate for Luke and brought it out for him. "Honey mustard chicken and rice." I told him as I sat down.

After dinner, Rowan played with his toys as Luke and I chatted in the lounge room with some wine.

"I'm surprised to see you." I told him as I sipped at my drink.

"I came over yesterday, but you weren't home."

"No. I had a weekend away with Rowan." I told him, not bothering to add I was with my ex.

"That's okay. I just feel slightly bad that I only get to see you between my trips."

I frowned at him. "Well don't. I'm fine with it. I'm not needy or attention seeking. As you can tell, I have pretty full hands already."

"So you're not concerned at how slow we are going?"

I felt a very small pang of guilt ripple through me. "No." I smiled at him. "So don't feel bad or pressured."

I saw Luke relax a bit from what I said. "I'm a single mother. In fact, I like this pace we are at."

Luke smiled at me as I took another sip before putting my wine glass down.

"I'll be back. I've gotta put Rowan to bed." I excused myself and went to Rowan and we did our bedtime routine.

"Where's daddy?" He asked me.

"At work." I answered as I read another page from his book to him.

"When can I see him?"

"When he gets back. In a couple more days." I said patiently. It was in fact two weeks, but Rowan wouldn't understand. I finished the book and tucked Rowan in.

"No sleep." He pouted.

"Sleep." I said in my mum voice. "Goodnight."

"Night. No sleep."

I sighed. "Go to sleep. You can ring dad in the morning."

Rowan seemed happy with that answer as he squeezed his eyes shut.

I smiled as I gently closed the door and went back to Luke. "Sorry. He's a determined little mite."

Luke smiled and patted the spot next to him. I sat back down and saw my glass had been filled again. "Where were we?" I smiled, holding my drink.

****

I kissed Luke goodbye early hours that morning with my gown wrapped around me as he left to head home. He had another flight to Hong Kong that night and needed to repack for it and to sleep.

I on the other hand went and crawled in to my bed, on the cusp of sleep when a thought struck me.

I've been so caught up with all the changes in my life, I totally forgot. I'm late. My periods are late. I sat up in bed as I recalculated my dates, opening the calendar on my phone.

Crap. I got out off the app and dialled Gabriel.

"Wow, two phone calls in a 24 hour period." I heard Gabriel's voice laugh. "What's the emergency?"

"I think I screwed up." I whispered. "Are you on lunch?"

"Kids lunch, not mine. Playground duty. But talk away. Sally, play nice."

"I'm late, Gabriel. Like a week late." I groaned.

"For what?" She asked casually. "Markus!"

"My period." I snapped.

"What?" I could hear the children in the background. "Did Ryder knock you up again? Are you sure?"

"I haven't slept with Ryder in years." Well, not sexually. "No, I'm not sure. It's after 1am here. There is nothing open that sells pregnancy tests and I'm not dragging Rowan out of bed to find out if petrol stations do."

"So it's this new man you've been seeing?" Gabriel kept her voice down.

"Um...maybe." I spaced out.

"Excuse me? The last time I saw you, you said you weren't sleeping with anyone. Now you have your ex chasing you, a new man and there's more?"

"It was a one time thing. Honestly." I groaned. "Besides, it's not like Luke and I are getting serious. We both like the pace we are at."

I heard a bell over the phone. "Man, I'm gonna ring you later and you are going to tell me everything!" She snapped before hanging up.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

What am I going to do?