Missing Key

Different You. Different Me.

Now this question definitely has me feeling antsy. My body can't stay still. I literally feel like I'm on the hot seat. Earlier, I said that I was going to be honest with him from the beginning, but now, I'm starting to second guess this. He might not want to know the answer to that question. I'm just gonna risk it. The most he can say is that he doesn't want to continue talking to me. Of course, it would suck, but hey, the truth hurts. Gently, I clear my throat and turn to face him, looking him in the eyes. "Friday night."

I study his face, looking for a response. Is he going to be pissed or okay with it? His face does not show much of a response. The wrinkle that was once on his forehead has now relaxed, but his grip on my hand and the steering wheel increase. I can't read him completely and I need to know what's going through his head. Fearfully, I question, "Quincy, what are you thinking right now?"

His head nods slowly. That crease in his forehead appears again, making my mind race a million ways. An invisible beat forms in my head, causing my fingers to tap nervously on my lap. I don't wanna show him that I'm nervous as hell right now.

Quincy finally speaks, "Nothing, Cierra. It's not my place to even be mad about whatever you two had going on. That has nothing to do with me and was before I even entered the picture."

Okay. It's good to know he's not pissed about it completely, but I just can't read him right now. The only thing that feels connected between us in our hands. Part of me feels like this might be the end of whatever we just started. That would be a shame, but you know life is life and you just have to deal with somethings as they come.

My mouth finally creates an audible noise. "Umm. Okay."

I'm still feeling lost. Is he mad or not? Are we gonna move forward or is this the cut that breaks all ties.

Quincy eye's, now appearing soft, look at me briefly. "Listen, Cierra. Knowing what was going on between y'all helps me to understand that man a lil more. 'Cuz for a second, I thought Jalen was crazy with the way he was acting."

His melodic laugh appears again. "Ah, Cierra. You can chill now. I saw you over there squirming out of my seats." A smile beams in my direction. "It's cool. What did you think I was going to say? Better yet, do?"

"Umm. Well, I wasn't quite sure. My feelings had me thinking you might have wanted to end this all because of Jalen." I begin to twirl my hair again. I've never liked uncomfortable situations.They just make squirm like a little kid and that's not cute at all.

Quincy laughs. "Cierra, you'll learn that I'm not easily angered." He smiles sympthetically. "Why would I end something that I was just starting to enjoy? A man just doesn't throw it all away because of some childish boy throwing a temper tanctrum. That's just silly." He shakes his head.

"Oh" is all i can say. Numbness rings through my body. Waves of embarassment crash over me, flooding my face. Jay has had so much control over my emotions that seeing Quincy not even affected by this mess is making me want to crawl in a hole and die. I just feel so stupid that I've been played so many times. First, Michael expected me to be a side chick forever and now Jalen expects me to drop everything for him and be with him, knowing the whole time that he was messing around with Jazmine. And now the girl is screaming pregnancy. He really tried to get me tied up in his mess. I hate for our evolved friendship to end, but Jay's gone down a different path that I'm not willing follow him on.

Noticing my deep thoughts, Quincy says, "Cierra, stop thinking about it. As you can see, I'm okay. We don't have to let this ruin our time together, okay?" He squezes my hand, waiting for my reply.

My smile slowly creeps on my face as I try to erase all of the events that occured today. "Okay. I can do that."

"Good." Quincy smiles. "So, when were you gonna tell me that you sing?"