This time last year

67 6 5
                                        

This time last year, every smile was fake. Every laugh forced. Everything i did thoroughly thought. Felt like a mistake. Like i didn't belong. Most of all, i felt ashamed.

Ashamed of myself. The way i looked. Pale, yellow skin, all deformed. Inflamed, parched cheeks. Torrid, black hair. Eyebrows missing. Just like I dreamed I was.

An overweight slob, a hideous error. A chunky obnoxious soul; what i thought i was but in reality i was just a damaged teenage girl. One of the millions commonly found. Disregarded and dumped. Isolated and unloved.

My walk was automated. My emotions robotic. My body was there but my heart was not. I felt dead inside. Like there was no hope. No one could save me. Not even myself. I felt like a zombie, like a machine. Everything was a chore. My body was a prison and i was trapped inside, longing desperatly for some way out.

Maybe suicide? I could bleed out in a bath or maybe i could drown my self in my own house. I could jump maybe. But what if it didn't work. What if I survived. Oh, that would be hell.

But deep, deep down. There was a cell of me that had life. That one cell that kept me alive. That one cell that kept me going when i was struggling to survive.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Jan 23, 2019 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

THE GIRL WITH NO EMOTIONSStories to obsess over. Discover now