•Teenlock•Parentlock• If All Else Fails

3• Mycrofts NOTP

-1 Month Later-

"This is getting out of hand." John sighed, looking at the bump. "It's worse now it's twins."
"What?" Molly asked, flicking through the baby magazine Mary had previously brought for John.
"Look at me!" John hissed. "I can't cover it with a coat either! Sometimes I bloody hate summer." He moaned.
"Oh shut up." Irene giggled. "We'll put a wig on you and some make up... I think you're about the same size as Kate... So..."
"I am not dressing up in drag." John said angrily.
'You'd be such a pretty girl." Molly sighed. She crossed her legs at the head of Irene's black double bed she, Irene and John were sat on. "And who's Kate?" Molly asked Irene, her brow furrowed. "You never tell me anything anymore." Molly sulked.
"There's nothing to tell." Irene dismissed with a slight wave of her hand. "And I agree with Molly, John." She picked up a magazine and lazily scrolled through it. "You'd be gorgeous." She laughed.
"Sherlock would go mental." John managed a smile.
"At the thought of having a girlfriend?" Molly asked with a grin.
"Oh shush." John snapped, hitting her around the head with the baby blue magazine. Then he giggled. "Can you imagine his parents?" Molly smiled.
"Ah yes, mother I have a girlfriend!" Irene mimicked Sherlocks deep voice.
"Oh thank heavens! You're welcomed back with open arms!" Sherlock waltzed into the room, pretending to be his mother.
"There are only two problems..." John grinned at his boyfriend.
"What are those my darling son I have taken back with open arms?" Sherlock lifted John up with ease.
"Well... She's pregnant," John giggled, still imitating Sherlocks voice.
"WHAAAAAT!?" Sherlock used a high pitched voice to simulate his mothers.
"That's not even the worst part." John said deeply, trying to hold back giggles. "She's actually a man!"
"BLASPHEMY!" Sherlock yelled, making everyone jump.
After a fit of laughing, Mary came in with Greg and Mycroft.
Greg smiled down at Molly. "Me and Molly have something to say." He said. Sherlock noticed his brothers eyes staring intently and easily at Greg, a smile on his face, his pupils dilated.
"Oh you're totally in love." Sherlock hissed at him. Mycrofts face that was previously happy, harden.
"The only emotion I am capable of feeling is loyalty to my job." Mycroft said, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times.
"Don't be so obvious." Sherlock rolled his eyes and looked back to Greg and Molly.
"We're together!" Molly exclaimed. Everyone noted how Greg didn't even look at Mycroft. Sherlock looked to his older brother. Yeah, he was an utter cock, but he was still his big brother, and it pained Sherlock to see him hurt. The look on Mycrofts face was just... Horrific. His eyes hurt, like being tortured hurt. Like he was physically in pain. But his face was smiling. It was happy for his 'friend'. But any old fool could see he was deeply unhappy with this new arrangement. Sherlock raised his eyebrows at Greg, he stared at the floor, guilt and unhappiness invading his normally confident eyes.
•••••••••••••••••••••••
Sherlock and John sat in John's old car, on their way home. They listened contently to the new songs on the radio. Well, John listened contently, Sherlock grimaced each time someone said 'bae' or 'sugar' or 'honey'.
"Never, I repeat never, call me any of these things." Sherlock said, breathing a sign of relief as the ads came on.
"What do you want me to call you?" John asked, then he smirked. "Sir?" Sherlock rolled down the window and pretended to throw up.
"I swear John, if you ever make me read 50 shades again, I will actually end your life." He grumbled.
"I'd like to see you try... Bae." John giggled as Sherlock shuddered. "What about baby one and two?" John asked, braking for the red light. "What are they gonna call you?"
"I don't know." Sherlock admitted, hugging his knees to his chest. "My father made me call him sir... I've never really had a dad." John rested his hand on Sherlocks knee. He hated seeing his usually arrogant boyfriend become so upset. Like a little child, John thought.
"Me neither." John thought back to his childhood. "Oh well. I know we'll be brilliant parents." There was a pause as Sherlock slowly lowered his legs and resumed his perfect posture. He hummed an agreement. "Oh I like this song!" John said, turning up 'she looks so perfect' on the radio.
"Oh god, not more of this stuff." Sherlock groaned. "Please John, I'm begging for mercy here." John caught his eye as he started the car again and smirked.
"No, this is good. I promise." John said, singing along. "HEEEEEYY EY EY... HEEEEYYYYY EY EY."
"Kill me." Sherlock sighed.
"Something down, something down, we waited something something something to give it up now, so something something..." John sang clumsily.
"John, I will gag you."
"Please do!" John winked.
"Agh!" Sherlock smacked the locked door in frustration.
"SHERL LOOKED SO PERFECT STANDING THERE..." John sang, pointing at his boyfriend. "IN MY AMERICAN APPAREL UNDERWEAR! AND I KNOW NOWWWW THAT IM SO DOWWWWN!"
"That's a little better, though I still want drive off a cliff."
"HIS CHEEKBONES ARE A WORK OF ART I GOT HIS NAME TATTOOED IN AN ARROW HEART!"
"John." Sherlock smiled.
"GAAAAY! GAYAY AAY AAY!"
"JOHN." Sherlock said louder, laughing.
"GAYAY AAAY AAAAAY!"
"JOHN!" Sherlock yelled, doubling up with laughter.
"What!?" John asked, annoyed that he had been interrupted.
"We are driving through a busy neighbourhood with the windows down."
•••••••••••••••••••••••
Mycroft sat alone in his office, a glass of scotch in his hand. He already had had one (or five) and that was too many. He peered at his phone. Thirty messages from Greg in the last two minuets. And two missed calls. Mycroft picked the phone up and turned it at each angle in his fingers. It rang. It was Greg; or 'Greggg<3'... He needed to change that, god forbid he see that now.
"Mycroft!" Greg shouted through the phone. Crap did he accidentally accept the call? Shit...
"Hi." Mycroft said, his voice tiny.
"Look about Mol..."
"No no," Mycroft said, emotionless at last. Good old alcohol. "You're very happy I'm sure."
"No I'm not...!"
"Yes you are! Don't try to explain to me. You like her."
"I don't! My parents...!"
"You like her!" Mycroft yelled. He composed himself finally. "She likes you." He said calmly. "I mean someone has to."
"You don't?" Greg sounded broken, and it killed Mycroft. He laughed humourlessly
"All we were was a bit of fun." He smirked, meanly. "I never actually loved you."
"Fuck you, Myc." Greg sounded like he was crying.
"You're the one that got a bloody girlfriend!" Mycroft raged.
"LET ME FUCKING EXPLAIN!!!!!" Greg screamed so loudly he could have been being murdered.
"Fuck off." Mycroft said, ending the call.

A/N
HELLO DARLINGS!
Yes it's late and short but I'm on holiday, lay off ;) I'm in Orlando with the gays and I lurve them :) Took eleven hours to get here from England! Apologies about the swearing in this one, but otherwise I hope you enjoyed <3
(The only bad thing is I can't play sleeping with sirens at top volume because I actually have neighbours here.)
Lots of American sherlockian love,
~izzy~