Wolf (UNDER SOME SERIOUS REVISION)

Chapter Twenty-Four: Heart

     He gazed up at me his lips set in a straight line and his jaw twitching. His eyes were rimmed with red as the swelled skin fought hard to keep his tears at bay. I don't know what broke my heart more, that he had teared up at his words, or that he held them back. Not a tear fell from his eyes. Not one. His nostrils flared as he drew in a breath, his words weren't callous nor begged, "Don't make me say it again." He was calm in the midst of the storm.

     His facial expression didn't need to tell me twice that he was wholeheartedly serious in his words. He wanted me to get out. So I shakily obeyed, sliding my one uninjured arm underneath me to push myself from the chair. I would've fell back from my trembling legs if not for the hand. I gave him a nod of acknowledgment of his order, not even meeting his eyes again. I was too humiliated to even so much as glance at him.

     The tears started falling before I could even sprint out of the white room, and I barely held in the sobs. I had grabbed the door on the way out and swung it shut, though not to slam it and get myself punished on top of this horrific event. I ran down the dark hallways, the deserted halls caused by the night sky looking in through the windows. The lights were dim, silhouettes the only objects visible.

     I twisted and turned in the halls, lungs burning with exhaustion and fresh bruises. My head was spinning from his words. I think you should leave. Don't make me say it again. I had destroyed all hope of a relationship with him, right when I was finally ready to move forward. That kiss was magical, but only fools believe in magic. He was no fool.

     My legs screamed at me in pain, a cramp building up in my calf and I knew it was only seconds before I would collapse. As I ran, I caught sight of myself in a mirror, so dark I could only see the outline of my head and the tears glistening in the moonlight. My legs finally gave out and I pitched forward in agony, physically and emotionally. I fell to my hands and knees, a sob racking my body violently.

     The sob felt like acid ripping through my throat, every rack of my body another stab of pain jolting my body. It felt like my brain was on fire, my heart slicing in two while my stomach squeezed painfully. I just wanted it to stop, and another sob escaped and I let my body hit the floor, curled up on my side, my body shaking with the tears.

     It was truly pathetic. If Percyus saw me like this I'd surely be rejected in an instant, but something inside of me told him to come anyway. Maybe him rejecting me would be easier than this; whatever this was. I pressed my hands to my chest, wishing the hurt in my heart would stop. It was as if I'd been stabbed, the pain sharp and precise. Every time I thought about it, the pain would get ten times worse but it was impossible not to think about it.

     I wanted it all to end. I wished he'd left me in my old pack. Maybe I'd already be dead. I wished he would've let me stay outside in the snow to die of hypothermia. Anything would be better than the pure ache in my body. I felt like I couldn't move, my muscled seized up as the puddle of tears grew around me, wetting my cheeks, clothes and hair.

     I swallowed hard, crying out in pain as it hurt. "Please..." I whimper. "Make it stop." The pain was worse than any beating I'd ever received. Worse than being whipped until my vertebrae showed, worse than being starved, worse than my head smashed against concrete.

     I closed my eyes, my lashes heavy with salty tears. I pressed my hairs to my face, my one arm still immobilized. It was bothersome now, and I wished I could rip it off. On second thought, I hated the color blue. I should've chosen green. I wanted to scream, but all I could do was sob.

     I felt hands slide underneath me, lifting me into the air effortlessly. I opened my watery eyes to see Lorenzo, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes rimmed with a light shade of red. He carried me down the halls without a word, and that made me eternally grateful. I wasn't in the mood to talk and neither was he.

     He carried me back to the spare room I'd been living in since I got here, the bed unmade since last time I had slept in it. Lorenzo gently laid me down in the open spot, shifting my legs so the blanket could tuck all the way under my chin. I have him a weak smile, a few tears falling at the friendliness he displayed to me, even though I was far from deserving.

     He squeezed my hand lightly before sniffing and composing himself, "Goodnight, Calla."

     "It hurts." I whisper, my voice nearly gone.

     He looked down at me, his eyes filling with tears, "You're heart?"

     I nodded slowly, a sob pouring past my lips like a river of pain. "My heart."

   
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