Musicals Oneshots

Trying (Tree Bros)

Trying (Tree Bros) [Small TW]

Connor tried. He really tried. Every day, every moment, he was trying so hard. He was trying to speak. To understand. To listen. To care. Even so, he was never noticed for when he did. His tendency to daze off or say something rude marked out all the times he tried to lend a hand or provide advice. He wasn't a rude guy, he wasn't a mean guy. Connor was a very kind person...but he had a hard time showing that.

It eventually got to a point where he no longer cared. No one thought much of him, so he began to think the same. He wasn't worth much. He was barely considered human, since he was lacking all these feelings and morals. He wanted to feel something. He made himself feel things, horrible things. Usually the pain of talking himself down, the guilt of ignoring his family, sometimes enduring physical pain because he both deserved it and wanted to feel something...even if it hurt, he needed to feel something.

So Connor forced himself to suffer. Mentally and physically. He put himself down, he made himself guilty, he told himself why he should be dead, he cut himself. And he was slowly falling apart with each and every hurtful word or permanent mark...until he met him…

Evan Hansen. God, he couldn't describe that boy with any other word than perfection. He had...every little thing he wanted...Evan was truly an angel come to save him from what he had become. He was so beautiful. He had such soft, pale skin. That gorgeous blonde hair that never seemed a hair out of place. Those precious blue eyes that engulfed him almost. He was so perfectly small. His sweet words and cute stutters, his caring actions, his smile and his laugh...it was all...so perfect…

Evan gave Connor some form of life. He gave him a reason to live...he gave him what he desired most...feeling. Evan gave him feeling. He made Connor blush whenever he smiled, he made him cry in worry for him, he made him think about his words for hours and hours...he made him love. Evan gave Connor a purpose. He gave him a reason to keep trying again.