Peasants and Polaroids |Youtube|Caspar Lee|

Chapter 7

"I-I'm sorry," I prattle, my eyes cast down as I back up, away from him and the two other guys who've stopped laughing by now, "Sorry."

I turn around and ran to the bathroom. Nicole was still in our room and I do not want to endure an interrogation from Nicole. That's the last thing I needed. Nicole could be very unforgiving with her words but that was once of the endearing qualities about her. Locking the door, I sink to the floor with my back to the wooden plank separating me from the rest of the world.

God, what is wrong with me?

Why can't I even accept a fucking hug from an amazing guy?

You'll never be good enough for them, you know.

Any of them.

No one will ever want you.

Who would want a reclusive hermit living inside of work and in between the pages of books to get away from the world? Who would want a person who's idea of fun is laying in bed all day playing Sudoku until her brain bled numbers? Who's parents aren't even around to realize their daughter was living with monsters in her bed instead of under it? Who could want a girl like that?

Who could love a girl like that?

No one.

No one will ever love your pathetic excuse of a human being.

I know.

Banging on the door against my back make the voices in my head enter the realm of unconsciousness. I can hear Nicole yelling at me, telling me to "unlock the damn door before she kicked through it". I honestly don't doubt for a second that she would, in fact, take down the door completely and drag me out by the color of my hoodie. She's one scary person when you make her upset. Yet, I'm not going to go back out there this quickly. I'm still breathing like I had just run three miles in fifteen minutes. I'm not ready for reality yet.

The banging dies down after a few minutes and I thank the heavens. One of the guys must have gotten her away from the door to cool down. Nicole knows what happens when I lock myself away from the world. She knows she has to let me grasp back onto my sanity before she can barge in and make sure I'm okay. Why isn't she doing that now? After a silence of twenty minutes or so, with me getting my breathing under control, a soft knock sounded on the door. That's not Nicole's knock, I know that much. Whoever it was knocked again and I don't want to sulk in here any longer, it won't be good for me and I know it, so I unlocked the door with a quiet click and opened the door.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I nod awkwardly, not looking him in the eyes just in case I wanted to run for the hills again, "I'm fine. Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to push you away like that."

"It's okay," he smiles, dimples showing and lips becoming thin, "I'm sorry for hugging you out of the blue like that, should've asked first, huh?"

"No, no," I sigh, running a hand through my hair finally looking up into his crystalline eyes, "It's me, I'm a bit messed up in the head. Should've warned you, I guess."

"Well," he says, leaning against the door frame, "Nicole told us you're on the no touchy side now so I'll remember to ask next time."

"Deal," I say, smiling slightly in hopes of making this less awkward for the both of us, "Is she still being a pissy baby?"

"Of course she is," Caspar laughs, making room for me to evacuate the smaller room and emerging into the hall way, "Try to talk her into not killing me, would you?"

"I'll try my best," I laugh, turning back to look at him, "Aren't you coming?"

"I will in a bit but," I points towards the bathroom, "Duty calls."

I laugh and turn away from him and I hear the door click close. I found my way out towards the living room and Nicole immediately jumps on me and crushes me into a hug. What was with all the hugs today? She grips my shoulders after she releases me and looks across my face and into my eyes, searching for damages. I give her a bored look and shake my head at her antics.

"Are you okay?" she asks, concern lacing her voice, I swear, she cares more than my own mother, "Do you want me to kill him? Cause I'll kill him, I swear to god. I don't even care if he's my blood, I will make him bleed. I love you more anyways. Chicks before dicks and all."

"Hey," Caspar emerges from the hallway, an offended look on his face, "I don't like being patronized because of my anatomy."

"Oh shut up," Nicole snarls at him, an annoyed look on her face as she rolls her eyes, "You're lucky I haven't thrown you out the window yet, Cas."

"It's fine, Ni," I say as I smile, amused at the loving banter, at least that's what I hope it is that's playing out between the two, "I'm fine, I just freaked out. It's not Caspar's fault, don't be mad at him."

"Whatever," Nicole grumbles as she lets me go and sits on the couch.

"Where are Marcus and Alfie?" I ask, curious as to where they've gone.

"They went on a double date or something, I think," Caspar says, sending me a sidelong glance, "Why? Do you like one of them?"

"O-Of course not," I stumble, completely shocked he's be so blunt, "What makes you think that?"

"Just a hunch," he says, smiling at me in a way that I cannot, no matter how hard I try to, decipher, "Well then, since Nicole's made plans with Jack and or Finn, would you like to explore with me, Belle?"

"Belle?" I ask with a confused look on my face, "When did I become that?"

"When you opened the door for me, silly goose," he says, coming up to me and popping me on the nose, "And I'll take that as a yes then. Be ready in about two hours, Love!"

And with that he walks towards his room with a nonchalant stride.

"Looks like someone's got a date." Nicole laughs, smirking at me, "I'll kick his ass if he tries anything, just tell me, okay?"

I nodded.

What just happened?

~Hey guys! It's been over a year since I've updated and I am sooooooo sorry! Everything's just been so hectic and I haven't been by best but I'll try harder to write! Thank you for reading!

-Kayla Xx