Peasants and Polaroids |Youtube|Caspar Lee|

Chapter 7

"Logic numbs the pain, yeah?" Caspar whispers, donning a face as if he's in a far off world where everything makes sense and no worries clouded his thoughts.

"Yeah," Nicole shrugs, eyeing me devilishly, a slight frown sitting on her pretty lips as her brows furrow, "It's been her go to phrase for everything dealing with guys and love in general; she's actually quite negative."

"Oh really?" Marcus says sarcastically, throwing me a handsome smile, "I haven't noticed."

"Oh shut it, Butler," Caspar snaps as he returns from his wonderland and smirks as he gets up from his perch on the floor and steps towards the couch, "It's probably a very touchy subject for this awfully beautiful young lady."

"Are you okay, Caspar?" I ask timidly, my old personality returning as his bright eyes bore into me and I start to get fidgety.

"Are you trying to hit on my friend, Cas?" Nicole laughs, shaking her head jokingly but her eyes resembled an emotion of protectiveness, "Cause she's too good for you."

"Oi," he says, a bit defensive as he shifts his eyes away from me and towards his smirking cousin, "I'm not that bad of a guy, for your information."

"Yeah, yeah Cas," she says, laughing at his face, "I'm sure you're a perfect gentleman and can make unicorns fly out of rainbows."

"That sarcasm is not appreciated, Nicole," he retorts, earning a deep chuckle from her as she turns on her heels and towards our room, slamming the door in Caspar's face.

He turns around with a defeated look on his face, like a lost puppy that had no hope in finding its way home. It was quite cute. Against every instinct in my being, I feel a laugh fall from my mouth and I honestly couldn't help but laugh harder at Caspar narrowing his eyes in attempts to look menacing. He walks closer but I don't stop my laughter and instead push myself further into the couch in a futile attempt to disappear. His arms reach for me and half carried half dragged me from the cushions and onto the floor and hovered over me. Caspar moves his hands to my sides and begins to move his fingers. He's tickling me. I hate getting tickled. Nicole tried once and I almost tore her hand off. This boy is about to lose some part of his body if he didn't stop.

Without realizing it, my reflexes kick in and my foot came into contact with his butt, propelling him forward and onto the floor. Laughter erupts from the other two boys sitting on the couch and Caspar's groans of pain mingle with their happiness and it was all just so peaceful. I had missed peaceful; lately my mind's only been consumed with to do lists and numbers, it was nice to just be around people who were good natured and happy. Caspar glares at me but smiles widely and in the flash of an eye, pounces on me, wrapping his arms around me and bringing my head onto his chest. He was hugging me. Now to say I tensed up was an understatement; my entire body froze. My eyes shut involuntarily.

This was all too new to me, physical contact; I'd hardly ever touched another person other than Nicole when she was hugging me. Even then the hug was short. My family and I had never been touchy people so I don't really remember the last time any of us willingly touched each other, if there was a time like that, anyways. The longest physical contact I've had was when Alfie had his arm around me last night but that was just loosely and I was fine. Why wasn't I fine now?

Caspar tightens his hold on me and it was almost insufferable. I don't know why but my throat is closing up and I can't breathe. He's holding on too tight. I tell myself to breathe but it wasn't working. With all the energy I have left in my body, I bring both my hands up and into the space between us, stopping once I make contact with his stomach. I push him away and openmy eyes wide. I could finally breathe again, somewhat. The look on his face, though, makes me want to crawl into the nest of seclusion I was in before Nicole dragged me across the bloody globe. He looks so beaten and shocked; I hate myself more than I usually did. And let me tell you, that was a lot. My mouth was dry and I curse at myself.