Finders, Keepers. BOOK 2 | Scomiche

Chapter 13

     "I'm so sorry. I should've tried harder. I should've been there for you. I-I don't want to lose you. Mitch, I-." Scott's arms squeezed him tighter. "I didn't take care of you. I failed as a boyfriend. Now you're here and something is off and I don't know what to do. And I'm afraid that I'm not what you want anymore. I could handle my job being the issue, but you not loving me... I can't imagine not loving you anymore."

     Scott was hugging him so tight he was having trouble breathing. His entire chest ached with his words. It felt like his heart was trying to push out of his back and into the chest pressed against him. Scott thinks he failed. That was heart breaking. "You didn't fail. It was me. I couldn't take care of myself. You were only trying to keep me safe." Mitch struggled against his hold until Scott loosened his grip and he twisted, wrapping Scott up just as tight.

     "I put you there. I made you go home." Mitch felt like he should still be mad at Scott for that. He felt like he should still resent him for making him endure the past month of isolated torture. But hearing Scott say it sounded wrong.

     "No, Scott. I'm the one who started this whole mess. I should have never dated Zach. I should've just kept to myself." Mitch stepped back from him, breaking their physical contact.

     "No." Scott's full voice scared him. "No, Mitch. I already told you that you being targeted is not your fault. None of this falls on your shoulders. I don't care what Zach says, or Adam, or the fucking media. You do not deserve this. You don't deserve to be hidden away from people, rotting until there's nothing left of you. You deserve to be cherished and loved and shown off to the whole fucking world. But they don't deserve you. I don't deserve you." Scott looked up at the ceiling and ran his hands through his hair, linking them behind his head to hold it up. "I want you to stay here with me. I want to be with you. I love you, but I want you to want that too."

     "I love you, Scott." Scott's body relaxed a bit as he let out a long exhale. "I love you, but I'm not okay right now." Mitch closed the distance between them again, placing his hands on Scott's chest and sliding them up the sides of his neck. "I just need things to be okay. As okay as they can be."

     He could see Scott's face twist more. "I can't promise you that things will be okay once people find out you are back."

     "I'm not asking you to promise that. I just need any sense of normalcy you can give me." Mitch swiped his thumbs against Scott's beard. It was longer than when he saw him last. Less kept. Scott nodded and dropped his hands, pulling Mitch against him and resting his forehead on his. They both closed their eyes and reveled in the fact that they could just hold each other, that they weren't a thousand miles apart.

     Mitch's heart still felt heavy, but the knot was loosening. His mind was still scrambled but all he could do was keep faith that he could sort it out eventually. He could finally take a full deep breath that wasn't completely filled with anxiety.

     He just wanted to feel close to Scott again. To fight the intrusive feelings that he should be putting distance between them. "I need you, Scott." He looked up at Scott's face when it lifted off of him. "Make love to me."

***

     Mitch almost felt better walking into the precinct than he did their apartment. It felt more comfortable and safe in its initial greeting of him, despite how warm and right laying with Scott felt last night. He was greeted with a lot of smiles. Even from officers he barely knew. It was a pleasant surprise and made him feel welcome.

     He had yet to let go of Scott's hand today, but the man didn't seem to mind. Mitch sat on the edge of his desk while Scott flipped through documents and signed a few papers.