I turned around after the gates closed and went to find my dad. I need to figure out how to get through to Dawson. As much as I didn't want to see my dad right now, he was the only one I could talk to. I found him in his room at the desk. He was writing something down on a notebook.
"Excuse the fuck out of you for walking in here without knocking. You better -" He cut himself off once he looked out and noticed it was me. "Ro, sorry." He huffed. I shrugged.
"Dad, I'm sorry." I began. "I guess I'm still getting used to things around here and my meltdown the other day isn't helping me cope or anything. I just regret a lot and completely changing in a matter of days doesn't help either. I don't know, I'm making excuses. I just need to make things right with Dawson and I don't know what to do." I explained.
"No matter what you do, I'll love you no matter what, you're my daughter for fucks sake. I never thought I was going to see you again so if I'm being a little hard on you I'm just trying to be protective. I don't want to lose you again."
"You won't, dad. I'm staying here. You and Dawson mean everything to me."
"I think he's in his room if you want to go talk to him." My dad said. I nodded and gave him a hug before walking down the hall to Dawson's room. I knocked and turned the door knob. The door opened and he was sitting on his bed reading a book.
"Dawson? I need to talk to you."
"Here to make a fool of me again?" He asked. I sat on the edge of his bed and he shut the book and looked at me, waiting for me to talk.
"Dawson, I don't want to keep making excuses but you know it's been hard adjusting. I don't know I like it here and I don't want to do anything else to mess it up. Obviously I already did. Just tell me what I need to do to fix things."
"I don't know, Rowan. Just don't bash anymore fucking heads in. I've seen enough of that with dad." He told me. I immediately felt guilty.
"I did it for mom." I muttered.
"You're just like dad. You think bashing skulls in is what mom would have wanted? I get you wanted to avenge her death but dammit Rowan, that's not how you fix things."
"You got time with her after the world went to shit. I was stranded, I didn't have anyone. Sorry if the second I was reunited with dad I had to find out that one of my own group members killed my fucking mother and they lied to me about it." I was angry, I had my reasoning. "And don't you dare take dad's side and blame it on me that I was left alone when this happened."
"Of course I don't take dad's side. You're crazy if you think I do."
"I talked to Dad. I apologized." I noted. Dawson nodded. "He said he's fine, with everything."
"Did Daryl leave?" He asked.
"Yeah. He told me I needed to figure things out on my own. He's right. I guess I'm just going to wait for him to come here. I can't really go back to Alexandria. Unless I go when dad goes back."
"He just left you like that?" He asked.
"He didn't leave me, he just said this was family stuff I needed to figure out on my own and he didn't want to be a distraction. When I was ready though, he said to go find him." I further explained.
"He's right. You need to do things on your own for a bit. Maybe in a few weeks or a month or so."
"I can't wait that long to see him. What if you went to Alexandria alone? Explained that I'm doing okay, we all talked and I understand what I've done." I asked him. Dawson shook his head.
"I've never been out of the Sanctuary alone. I love you but I couldn't go by myself." He told me. I nodded understandably. "But, if it makes you feel any better, I forgive you. I believe you that you're going to try and be better. I mean it when I say though, I don't want to see you bash anymore heads in." I laughed at him lightly.
"I love you, Dawson." I said as I got up to leave.
"Love you too." I left his room and walked back to mine. I didn't realize how exhausted I was and just needed to sleep my feelings off.
