vanilla // lrh

thirty three

"You were literally shaking!"

"I was not!"

Luke nearly choked on the Coke he was drinking, laughing hard enough to turn every head in the restaurant. He slammed his hand on the table, and his other down to his stomach. 

"Ellie! You were shaking so hard I thought you were going to end up shooting me!"

I shook my head with a smile. "Oh come on! I was not that scared!"

Luke finally stopped his hysteria, and took a sigh while wiping the tear of laugher from the corner of his eye.

"Shooting guns is not funny!" I exclaimed, and he flashed another smile at me. 

"Anything is funny if you let it be. Think about it," He began, folding his hands together.

"We are being hunted like animals by your ex boyfriend and for why? Why is there a vicious illegal boxer trying to kill us? Is that not comical?"

"Okay, maybe." I agreed. 

The whole thing was pretty insane. Like something you'd see in a soap opera. Except with much less sex. 

"The drama of this situation seems so bizarre. Imagine telling your grandma what was happening. You'd have to be locked up for being completely insane!" He laughed again. 

Luke had laughed more than I had ever seen him. He always seemed so dark and mysterious, and he was, but there was more in there. The reason I had been so drawn to him couldn't have just simply been due to his hot headedness and piercing eyes, but maybe what was inside of him. What was buried so deep, not even he could see.

Or maybe I was just horny.

I didn't know, to tell you the truth. Here I am, with this hot boy that boxes illegally for money, in an Olive Garden, wearing a bright yellow dress from my high school. 

How did I end up here?

Everything was so simple before I met him, no running from a potential killer, no shooting guns for practice, just waitress money, bad sex, and getting drunk every Tuesday with Michael.

Was Luke what got me here? Was it all his fault? My life being at risk?

"Els!" 

I snapped out of my thought and my eyes met with his. 

"You alright?" He asked, a smile forming on his lips. 

He looked so different.

Maybe it was the dim light, or maybe it was the laughter in his eyes, but he seemed gentle, soft.

"Luke, what is this?" I sighed, looking down from him and onto my half eaten salad.

"What is what?" He asked, again, softly.

"What are we doing? I mean, what are we even doing here?" 

"Well, we just got back in town and I had to show you how to use a gun today and I just wanted you to feel more normal so we're at your favorite restaurant and you wore your favorite-"

"Do you think this is a date?" 

He bit the corner of his lip, and shuffled his gaze to the floor.

"It could be."

"It could be? Luke, what the hell is all of this? What the hell are we? Do we even know each other?"

"Ellie, of course we do. You know me the best." He said, speaking gently, unlike his usual character within an argument. 

"I know you the best? Luke, I don't know anything about you! All I know is that I'm here, and I'm scared, and none of this happened until I got involved with you and I just,"

I took my napkin off of my lap and sat it on the table. 

"I really just need to go." I said, briefly looking at him and then excusing myself from the table. 

I didn't want to give him a chance to speak back, because I wasn't prepared for whatever he could've said. Would he continue to be as gentle as he just was? Or would he pull his typical and start screaming back at me? I didn't know him, and I didn't know what he was capable of. He could snap at any minute.

I was disappointed in myself. 

The little girl craving the danger inside of me was still there. She had never left.

I always knew Alec was going to destroy me. But I went with it anyway. I would've followed him into the deepest corner in hell. I thought I was done with that, but I clearly wasn't.

As soon as I found someone with a hot head that wouldn't let me push them around, I simply had to have him.

I did this to myself. Why did I let another psycho with a hot body into my life? 

I was in danger. Potentially. At least, that what Luke says. But how do I know he isn't bullshitting everything? Maybe he was just trying to control me the entire time. And maybe it worked, at least for a while, but not anymore. I was awake.

"Els! My girl! What took you so long?"

I was greeted outside of Michael's door to a slit-eyed Ashton, bottle on Gin in his hand.

"I'm here now, that's all that matters, right?" I joked with him, knowing there was a good chance he was too far gone to even realize it was not funny.

He laughed, and threw his arm around my neck.

"Let's get high, Els."

"Get high?" I asked him. "Aren't you more of a drinker?"

"That's until I realized I feel even better with both."

I grabbed the bottle from his hand, only to realize it was near empty. 

I pressed the bottle to my lip, and let the remainder of the alcohol run down my throat. 

"Hey, Ash, you wanna go back to my place for a little? We can come right back."

"Sure, where do ya live?" He said, with a belch.

"Right next door, silly." I said, pulling us to my door. Not only was his hand around me, but his body was leaning as if he couldn't hold himself up. 

"You live right next to Mike! That's awesome! I love Mike. You're so lucky!"

"Yeah, he's pretty okay. You want some water or anything?" I said, sitting my jacket and keys down as Ashton threw himself across the couch.

"Only the kind with the 40% proof," He giggled, with another burp.

"I think you should sober up some." I said, lifting his legs up and sitting at the edge of the couch, then sitting them back onto my lap.

"Being sober is no fun. You know that."

"Being drunk isn't always fun though." 

"Then you drink some more. And then you forget you aren't having fun."

Ashton perplexed me. He almost reminded me of what I could've been, or maybe we were the same.

His heart was broken, and he drinks his pain until he's numb. He'd rather feel nothing than to feel at all, because all he feels is his pain. Not only from her, but from his loneliness. No family to turn to, no friends that truly care- maybe I was Ashton. I was no better than him, we were the same.

"What did she do to you, Ashton?" I blurted. Rude, maybe. But he was as drunk as a skunk and I was desperate for answers. 

"Who?" He giggled.

"Whitney. What did Whitney do to you?"

It was silent for a minute. And for a second, I thought he passed out completely. That was until he slowly sat up, and turned his face to me.

"You want the long version or the short one?"