New to the team

12

Bucky yelled in anger, you had gotten away! He couldn't believe it! Your blank expression made him want to cry, you used to be so full of life but now it had been beaten out of you.

But you had shielded them that's got to count for something, right? He had seen a flicker of confusion or maybe even recognition cross your otherwise emotionless face, all be it just a moment, maybe he could do it again.

"Buck, I'm sorry" Steve came up from behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. Bucky turned around and hugged Steve tight. He knew he was getting blood on Steve's suit from the nosebleed you had just given him and probably a whole lot of tears but he didn't care.

"Hey it's ok we will get her back" steve comforted

Bucky pushed away "no i- did you see her?,  she- they, they tortured her   steve" he put his head in his hands

"I know" the rage was clearly showing in Steve's voice

"We should get you cleaned up" Natasha said from a way off

"Uh yeah" steve said, he was desperately trying to hold it together. Be strong for Bucky who wasn't trying to hide the fact that his entire world had just collapsed from underneath him

Steve took a deep breath, he could break down at home.

Hold it together

He told himself but he couldn't stop the steady flow of tears that were now trickling down his cheeks

-time skip-

They all traveled back to the tower, the sky was dark and rain splashed on the windows of the jet that Tony had called for them to be taken back in.

It was rather atmospheric, and Bucky might even have enjoyed it if there wasn't a crushing weight on his back consisting of, dread, sadness, sympathy, shock, disappointment,  rage and a whole lot of guilt

God he felt awful, he knew what would happen now, he had seen that you recognised him a little bit.

You would go back to the base and they would wipe your memory, and from experience he knew that was very    pain staking process.

He wanted to scream and claw at his skin. His little sister, his own little sister in the hands of HYDRA and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. He was pathetic, and weak. He had held you, held you in his arms and yet you still you got away.

He had let you down. God if you weren't with HYDRA you would be so disappointed in him. But you weren't disappointed in him because you weren't allowed to feel! Bucky inwardly screamed

He looked out of the window in order to hide his face from the others. He held his breath in order to hold back a sob

He looked over to steve, who was sitting next to the window opposite him and had his eyes closed, he took note of the tear marks on his cheeks

He didn't know how he did it. Always kept his composure even in what Bucky considered the worst thing imaginable to happen - and twice!

Admiration flooded Bucky and he instantly wanted to go over to his friend and take the burden away, but he couldn't and even if he could, the burden he was carried was already greater than he could cope with

"Agents, how did the mission go?" Fury's voice spoke through the jet, making Bucky want to disintegrate more than ever

"Didn't get her" Tony's voice answered bitterly

"What?!" Fury Yelled "How did you not get her?! Six of the greatest superhero's this earth has to offer and you couldn't get her?!"

"Sir this isn't a good time" Natasha said from in front of Steve

"I don't care! You didn't get her!" Fury Yelled back

"We tried our best, but we don't want to hurt her" Wanda added

"I don't care if you hurt her or not! You need to capture her or she will take down SHIELD single handedly!" He screamed

"Piss off" Clint said, Clint seemed to be very sympathetic and much more serious than usual

"You will not speak to me like that agent Barton! I your superior officer! You failed to get the girl! You didn't even use all weapons provided for you! I can't believe th-"

"WILL YOU BUGGER OFF?!" Bucky screamed finally having enough "I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT YOU THINK! THAT IS MY FUCKING SISTER AND I WOULD TEAR THIS VERY EARTH IN HALF TO GET HER BACK! WILL YOU GET IT AROUND YOUR BALD HEAD THAT THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU OR SHIELD! ITS ABOUT Y/N! AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE BRAIN CAPACITY TO UNDERSTAND THAT THEN YOU CAN LEAVE US ALL THE FUCK ALONE AND LET US DO OUR FUCKING JOB!"

Everyone stared at Bucky as he sunk back down into his chair

"Welp think that's just about summed up what we all wanted to say, so bye Fury!"tony said and he hung up

"That was impressive" steve   whispered to Bucky

"Guess it was kinda satisfying" Bucky whispered back with a smirk