Better Than Me

Chapter 3

Dan set his laptop back in front of him and began trimming the video, cutting it down to only the decent clips, like the ones where he was moaning loud or twitching or whatever else he thought his audience would enjoy.

His audience. Dan hadn't really thought about all of the accounts that followed him for a while. Was posting this video to probably thousands of people cheating?

No, probably not, since it wasn't directly sent to them. He would just message the sender of the massager a quick thank you and not send a personalized video this time. They might be upset, but Dan couldn't film a video for someone with Phil's face in his mind. He would feel so guilty.

Once he had finished editing his video, which took about an hour, he queued it on his blog and YouPorn for while he was at work later, and posted a cheeky text post as a teaser.

camboydan: new video VERY soon (; <3

Dan often did this to draw more attention to his content. His blog was full of teasers in between videos, photos, and gifs of him exposing himself. Thinking about how much content he had posted since June eleventh, on his birthday, was crazy. Recently he posted at least twice a week, juggling his job as well, and it was October.

He could remember his very first photo set, two pictures of him naked in a pile of teddy bears. The post hadn't become popular until he really gained his "fame". His first video is the one that caught on, one where he was using the first toy he'd ever bought.

Until then, he had admired other camboys and pornstars online, wanting so badly to be like them. It took a while for him to be noticed by Gay UK Eighteen Plus as well, but once they reached out to him, he blew up more, hitting the top spot for the tags 'twink' or 'emo' or 'teen' on many porn websites. When that occurred, he knew he had gained a following he had to keep up with, that he wasn't just posting into the void anymore. Dan had to keep a posting schedule and follow it, which was hard getting used to at first.

Posting content often was difficult with his parents and brother around, thank god he'd moved to London. It was hard to keep himself quiet sometimes, and the stress of how discreet the packaging was, and where he hid his toys and clearing his laptop history and all that. That was the real reason he'd moved here.

Not for law university or a law firm internship or whatever other reasons he managed to convince his parents of. They didn't even send Dan rent money since this was Dan's "careless" decision, he paid for it all himself, with the help of paychecks from Tesco and PayPal transfers from his pornography.

When it was time to get ready for work, he hustled around his apartment to find a clean set of clothes to wear. The dress code was simple; a solid colored polo and nice pants, that could be black, navy blue or khaki. Dan would rather die than be caught wearing ugly beige, so he had bought a week's worth of black skinny jeans.

He adjusted his collar in the mirror and grasped his things for work, then headed off to the tube. When he was seated in an uncomfortable plastic chair, he received a text from Phil.

Phil: Okay I finished my video ^_^

Dan: perfect timing, i'm on my way to work :(

Phil: Aw. Talk to me when you're done?

Dan: ofc <3

Despite it only being a day, Dan already missed Phil, the way his mouth was in a permanent cheeky smirk, the gorgeous blue of his eyes, the way he had held Dan close on the couch.

He was sure it was definitely a crush, not just someone he was falling in love with simply because they were paying attention to him. He liked Phil for Phil, and could see their future together already.

So what if it was too early for Dan to be thinking about what the theme of their wedding would be? Dan thought he couldn't be blamed; that Phil was just that lovable and inspirational.

Another thing Dan wondered about was Phil mentioning YouTube. Dan was curious about how different it was compared to his work. They had themselves being filmed in common, but their work was assuredly very, very different - opposite like yellow and violet on a color wheel, contrasting sides of a spectrum, opposite poles of the world. Their videos and lifestyles must be so, so diverse.

Or maybe they were closer to being alike, analogous colors instead of complementary colors. Maybe, with all the nerdy video game talk, geeky movie talk, and other things they had in common, they weren't so much opposites.

Either way, Dan was in love with it. In love with the concept of them being together. He barely knew Phil, but he his gut told him that he was his missing puzzle piece, the one that was going to be there for him. Maybe even the one who could help him with his parents.